The Power of Tiny Habits // with Julie DeLucca-Collins

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Welcome to know them.

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Be them, raise them a show to help moms stay informed and inspired so

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they can show up for themselves and their daughters the way they want to.

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I'm your host Carmelita to join me each week as I cover a variety of topics,

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all designed to support mindful.

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And growth-oriented moms of girls, especially girls in their

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crucial tween and teen years.

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My guest today is Julie DeLuca Collins, the founder and CEO of go confidently

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services and the host of the popular.

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Casa de confidence podcast and a weekly radio show confident you featured

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on a global talk radio network.

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She's also the number one bestselling author of the book, confident you simple

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habits to live the life you've imagined.

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And

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Julia is a certified coach in cognitive behavioral techniques,

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holistic coaching and tiny habits.

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She's also certified as a social emotional learning facilitator and has completed

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her 200 hour yoga teacher certification.

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As a business and life strategist coach Julie helps women business owners launch

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or grow their businesses, get clients be productive and achieve their dreams.

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I invited Julie to chat and shed some light on the power of tiny habits.

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Here's our conversation.

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Julie, I am so excited to connect with you.

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Um, your wisdom and your light is just infectious, and I can't wait

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to share that with the listeners.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:01:31

Carmelita Kat, thank you so much for having me.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:01:34

It is a pleasure to hang out with you because I know that surrounding yourself

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with the people that you admire is an honor, and I, I'm excited to be

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:01:43

a guest on your show that I admire

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:01:46

Thank you.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:01:47

Well, um, in your bio, confidence is such a linchpin that your work revolves around.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:01:55

I'd love to hear a little, a little bit about your personal journey and

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:01:58

where we can take that from there, when it comes to raising our daughter,

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:02:01

Yeah.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:02:02

You know, when I, I was growing up, I was born in El Salvador.

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My mom is from El Salvador.

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My dad was from New York and he happened to meet my mom and they settled there.

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I was the first granddaughter and I, I was born to a woman who was, um,

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very privileged to have been educated in the states, traveled abroad.

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And my dad grew up in a very, humble home in in the projects of New York,

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but he grew up with a strong woman as well, and that really set the stage.

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And my mom's mother also was someone who was ahead of her time.

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My grandmother, my maternal grandmother was someone who was expected to

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because she grew up in an affluent home, get married, raise children.

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But no, she wanted a career.

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She wanted to be an educator and she kept going through and getting education and

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my great-grandfather, wanted her to settle down and she said, no, I wanna work.

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And finally he gave in and decided to build a school for.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Oh, that's amazing.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:03:08

Wow.

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it's like, okay, you have a school you can teach here.

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And my grandmother began teaching and subsequently took over the school

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when my great-grandfather passed, and I was born in this environment

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in which women were very strong.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:03:26

Hmm

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:03:27

that's what I saw at an early age.

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At about five years old, my grandmother had her leg amputated because she

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had a rare form of cancer, and most people thought that someone

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at 70 something was done right.

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And this illustrious career was pretty much behind her.

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But instead, my grandmother made it her mission that she was going

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to come back and come back greater.

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And I watched her.

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Um, continue to rehabilitate herself, teach herself to walk with

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a prosthesis that weighed a hundred pounds, and continue to give and

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volunteer and have a successful career.

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and I was told that I was a leader from an early age.

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Someone that was told that service was important, that

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needed to be part of my life.

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And most importantly, I learned my voice.

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I learned to speak.

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I was never afraid to speak to, to adults and have a conversation, and I read a lot.

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So all of that contributed to who I am today.

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Ultimately, you know, confidence was something that I never knew not having

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it, but there were moments in which, especially in middle, When I started

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to be teased and you, you start to kind of, you know, this is who you

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are and your family tell you you are, and then you hit middle school and

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your classmates like, who are you?

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You, and, and all your confidence is kind of knocked out.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:04:58

Yes.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:04:59

there's that dissonance between what your family, your parents tell you.

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Like I tell them they're beautiful and strong and whatnot, and then they go

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off into the world and then have these experiences that kind of knock 'em down.

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So, yeah, totally

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sure.

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You know, in my, in, in my book, I actually talk about this.

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There's an experience that I had in the locker room and changing

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for gym and how I came in full of confidence and sure enough, surely

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thereafter, um I was knocked down.

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And I remember at that time my parents had divorced at, and we're

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living in Miami at this point.

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Um, but my dad shared a quote with me that's become my mantra through

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my life, and that's what my business is called, is Go Confidently Services

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because of the Henry David Thoreau quote,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:05:43

Mm

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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.

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And it became the mantra when I didn't feel confident, when I felt

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like I didn't have it all together, I kept saying, just go forward.

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Just do it.

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Just it's okay.

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And we don't always feel confident.

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And this is something that I wish, um, you know, when I look back at that 11

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year old girl, she just kept going, right.

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And I, and I wanna tell her that it turns out okay.

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And then you don't have it all together.

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But that's part of the process of learning and becoming stronger.

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Someone has to be a beginner at everything in order to get

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to be who you want to become.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:06:26

Hmm mm-hmm.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:06:27

. Yeah, that's a, a great insight that sometimes I, forget, but that you have

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to anticipate and normalize and accept that things are gonna feel awkward or

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unknown or uncertain, just by virtue of the fact that you're trying new things.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:06:43

Yeah, for sure.

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And I think this is where in my career, right?

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I started to look around me as I got higher and higher

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in that corporate ladder.

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And I thought, where are my sisters?

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Where are the girlfriends?

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Where are the ladies?

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You know, we, we can deep dive into this so much.

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But ultimately like Cheryl Sandberg says, right, like, lean in, it's okay, and

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maybe you don't feel like you belong, but the more that you lean in, the more

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that you create a space for yourself.

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And that's something that I want women, young women and girls to

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really know and pay attention to.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:21

Mm mm, on that point, you know

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what women and girls can do.

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I know that you have some thoughts on how habits can really contribute into

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:32

building up this sense of confidence.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:34

I'd love to hear you say more about that.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:07:36

Well, you know, habits for me have been that

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frenemy because we love it, but also they're hard and for many years, I just

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kept thinking, what's wrong with me?

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I really wanna create these great habits, but my motivation is not there.

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What can I do to motivate myself more?

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And then I kept learning about habits and wanting to adopt them,

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and I was successful at them.

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There was a piece missing, and then eventually I found that.

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Well, one, your brain does wanna have habits, and if you don't create good ones,

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your brain is gonna create not so good ones because your brain I is, is going to

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want to change the uncertainty of things and wants to automate the processes.

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Number two, motivation is something that you can start, it's a feeling, but when

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something gets hard, motivation goes away.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:30

Oh, so

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And this is why we cannot rely on

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motivation to create habits.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:36

Mm.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:08:36

early in 2020.

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As I launched my career, my second career, my business as, as I was laid

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off at the beginning of the pandemic.

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I started to really explore this concept of simple habits and I had created some

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great ones that have served me, but also was struggling to create others.

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And what I found is that when you have consistent action and you learn the thing,

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you hone in your skills, then you're doing it, and you automate it and becomes

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a habit, then your confidence grows.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:09:07

Mm mm

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:09:08

And that's when I, I read a book that was life

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changing and I've read a lot of books and I love reading, but Tiny

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Habits, it's a book written by Dr.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:09:16

BJ Fogg, who is A behavior researcher out of Stanford University, and

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he has made in his life work to be researching behavior change and how

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people change and what creates change.

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And in the book, one of the things that he talks about is how motivation

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cannot be relied upon, number one.

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Number two, the ABCs of habits are having that anchor moment, doing the

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behavior, and then creating the one action that allows your brain to.

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Make that habit stick.

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Your brain changes when you feel good.

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So when we beat ourselves up because we didn't do the thing right, then your

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brain is like, I don't wanna do that.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:10:02

Because , if I'm not good at it, then I don't wanna do it.

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I'm gonna beat myself up.

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I'm not gonna feel bad.

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But if you do it and do it in a minimal manner, and you celebrate that you did

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it, even if it's a tiny step, your brain is like, oh, I like feeling that, and it

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begins to say, I better do that again.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:21

Hmm.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:10:22

And that's when you begin to create these habits.

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So the premise or the method for tiny habits is finding the anchor

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moments or the prompts that will remind you to do the behavior, create

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a behavior that is small enough, and then celebrate that you did it.

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And if you go above and beyond that tiny behavior, then great.

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And you start to grow your habits.

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But really starting tiny is key.

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And when I started to create tiny habits for myself, and I noticed that

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even those habits that I had already established, they were born out outta

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doing something in a very minimal way.

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Feeling good about having it done.

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And then continuing to start again if for some reason, oh, I didn't do it.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:04

Okay, let me try again.

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But always celebrating that, oh, I remember that.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:09

I didn't do it.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:09

Good for you, Julie.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:10

You remembered.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:11

Let's try again

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:11

Yeah.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:13

And then that creates the ability for your brain to

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be a able to automate some of that.

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So tiny habits.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:19

I am then pursued a certification as a coach, as a tiny habits coach.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:23

very cool.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:11:24

and really has been so instrumental in my life

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and in the life of the women that I work with because when you create

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those habits and you feel proud, then immediately you gain more confidence

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and when you are more confident, you're gonna go and do the thing.

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And the more that you're successful at it, then guess what?

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Your motivation starts to show up as

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:45

Right.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:45

It's all linked together.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:47

Yes.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:48

Oh my gosh.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:49

That makes complete sense.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:51

When you talked about celebrating that, oftentimes I'm just reflecting

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:11:56

on my kind of my own day-to-day, but I feel like that part can go missing.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:02

Yes.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:03

Reminding and encouraging our daughters to do

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:07

that feels really important because like you said, if there's no sort

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:10

of positive outcome or positive reflection moment, then that, feeling

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:16

of success , is less likely to be there.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:19

absolutely.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:20

I never really thought about the

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:22

importance of celebrating and kind of patting yourself on the back,

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:26

Yeah.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:26

And it doesn't have to be a big celebration.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:28

And, and I think that this is where people also, I, well, I know when we coach

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:33

Tiny Habits, um, and we, we have a five day, it's a free, uh, five day coaching.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:39

The, the Tiny Habits Academy does.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:40

It goes on every week.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:42

And, um, I jump in there and I coach every once in a while.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:45

I will tell you that 90% of the people is like, I didn't

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:48

celebrate, I don't feel good.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:49

I don't know how to celebrate.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:51

And we really struggle.

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And I think that if this is normal for 90% of the population, I think it's much more

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:12:58

so for us women who we are so used to not giving ourselves credit for what we do.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:04

Um, I was speaking to my, my niece who was nine the other day, and I, we speak

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a lot and she was practicing the violin.

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And she's like, oh, I'm just so terrible at it.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:17

I said, I know, but you should.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:18

You know what you should do when you're going to practice the violin?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:22

You should, when you come finish your homework, that's her prompt.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:26

Open your violin case.

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And then say, good job.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:29

I opened my violin case to practice and that's all she has to do.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:34

And guess what?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:34

That's her tiny habit.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:36

But then she, once she celebrates, we'll do, it's an

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:38

open, I might as well practice.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:40

Right?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:40

That's where she goes.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:42

And what that creates is like, oh, I feel good.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:13:46

And that little hit of dopamine feeling.

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Um, then helps her keep going.

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And the celebration is mainly giving yourselves a little thumbs

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up or just saying, oh, smile, I did that, or, Hmm, I remembered.

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And, and those little things can create big momentum.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:14:04

Dr.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:14:05

Fog says, tiny is mighty, and it's so true.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:07

Mm I'm, I'm still kind of processing.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:10

I think that thought of celebration and what that can look like, I'm

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:13

thinking through some of the, the routines that, I'm trying to

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:17

build into my daughter's lives.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:18

Like they both take their lunches to school and then when they

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:22

get home, they're supposed to empty it out, wash out, you know,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:25

the, the plastic containers and

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:27

whatnot.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:28

Mm-hmm.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:29

, uh, and sadly, I know that I often point out when they bring the lunchbox to the

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:34

kitchen, but they don't empty it out and.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:37

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: let's, let's create the recipe

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:39

so that, because this is what we do, we create recipes, right?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:42

So first you have to have that ability.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:45

And the ability to make the habit happen means that you have to have

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:48

the right space, the right time.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:50

So when you're coming home from school, what happens, right?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:54

Do you come in the door?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:55

Because that's already automated, right?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:57

You've been doing that.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:58

Um, so think of what is the prom?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:01

So for instance, when we walk into the house and we put our, our

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backpack down, then we take out the container and we celebrate.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:12

Uhhuh.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:12

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: the tiny behavior, right?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:14

So pay attention to what happens when you're coming in.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:17

Where do they drop their backpack or do they go into their rooms directly?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:21

So as soon as I put my backpack down, I will take out the container.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:25

So the recipe typically is when I blank, I will blank and then celebrate.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:31

That's the framework of the recipe.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:35

When I blank, I will blank and then celebrate.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:38

that's actually super powerful

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:40

So I'll give you one of my ma basic automations.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:42

I try to drink a gallon of water.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:45

I don't always hit it, but the water bottle has to be filled.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:50

So in the morning I already have an automation.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:53

I have to let my dogs out in the morning.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:55

The door to the backyard is next to the sink.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:15:59

So when I let the dogs out, I fill my water bottle,

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:03

that's all, and, and then I'm like, Woohoo.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:06

We filled my water bottle.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:07

I'm there.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:08

Right?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:08

And of course, if it's already full, I typically start to drink a

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:12

glass of water right then and there.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:14

And once I drink my glass of water, then of course, you know, we get

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:17

into the other other habits, right?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:19

Where I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:21

So after I go to the bathroom, I drink a full glass of water and celebrate.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:27

So, so throughout the day, that one action kind of is the domino

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:32

effect to the rest of the actions.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:35

. And you know, and I think that you can make it into, a fun competition into like,

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:41

okay, who, who was able to, you know, who came up with the most interesting

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:46

celebration and who went ahead and right.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:48

And who did.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:49

After I bring it into the kitchen, I will empty out the container.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:16:53

Something like that.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:55

That's, oh my gosh, I'm so excited to try

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:58

and sort of, you know, incorporate this into our routines now

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:02

and Carmen, you know, the, tiny Habits Academy.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:05

Again, it's, we don't try to sell anything or do anything other

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:08

than teach people tiny habits.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:10

It's a free five day and it takes less than five minutes a day to participate.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:14

So if you go to tiny habits.com, you can participate in in the process and it's

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:19

great because then you get a coach that.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:23

Coaches you through the week and says, Hey, by the way, did you try this?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:25

And they can actually look at your recipes because as you're creating you, we ask

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:29

you to create three recipes and then you get a two minute teaching from Dr.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:34

Fogg, and then you just email back and share whether or

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:36

not you did your tiny habit.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:39

So fun.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:40

I will include that link in the show notes.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:43

Even the idea of a recipe feels super empowering.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:46

Like, what's my recipe gonna be?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:48

What habits do I already have that I can build upon using this recipe?

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:52

Yeah.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:53

There's so many things that can be done and, and I have to tell you, you know,

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:17:55

one, one thing that I say all the time, I is consistent action gets you traction.

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:18:03

it's just that showing up, you know, yes, we're gonna be

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:18:06

imperfect, but show up again,

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:18:08

and that's consistent action is gonna move you forward, is that compounding

Julie DeLucca-Caldwell: 00:18:12

effect that we really are looking for.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:16

I loved that closing reminder about consistency.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:20

It's been several weeks since I recorded that interview with Julie.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:23

And I'll say that.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:24

I've been more conscious about celebrating my wins.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:27

Instead of jumping right into the next thing.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:30

I actually do smile.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:32

I try to make myself smile, even if no one's around.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:35

I'll take a few deep breaths to savor the moment.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:38

And I think it's working.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:40

I do seem to feel less angsty when tackling things that I need to do,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:45

but don't want to like flossing.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:47

Don't tell my dentist.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:49

Um, and with my daughters, I think there's been an overlap of celebration

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:54

and kind of positive reinforcement.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:57

And.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:57

And this does seem to help with them wanting to show up and do.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:01

The thing again, for example, My older daughter is way better

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:05

at feeding the cat lately.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:06

And I think it's because we've identified a prompt, which.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:09

Is.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:10

Finishing dinner, putting the dishes away.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:13

And I've expressed appreciation and given her positive reinforcement when she does

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:17

it, which is kind of like celebrating.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:19

So now she's actually way more inclined to just do it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:23

No nagging.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:24

So that's my very anecdotal and unscientific report out.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:28

Um, but hopefully some inspiration to try the celebration and recipes

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:34

that Julie's talking about.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:36

So to recap, here are my key takeaways from this conversation with Julie.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:40

And remember these can be shared with modeled um you know discussed with

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:45

your daughters as well Number one.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:48

To learn and become stronger.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:50

You are going to feel awkward and uncertain.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:52

You're going to make mistakes and.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:54

I'd be a beginner and this is all part of it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:57

Anticipate and normalize these feelings.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:19:59

So when you feel them, you can remind yourself that this is

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:02

exactly where you're supposed to be.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:05

Just keep going.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:06

Number two.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:07

Julie advises like Sheryl Sandberg says don't be afraid to lean in.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:13

Maybe you don't feel like you belong, but the more you lean in, the more

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:17

that you create a space for yourself.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:20

Number three, your brain wants to have habits.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:23

And if you don't create good ones, your brain is going to create not so good ones.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:27

And motivation is a feeling you can't rely on it to create habits.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:32

Instead, we have to turn to consistent action.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:37

Number four, starting with the tiny habit is key because you're more

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:41

likely to accomplish it, celebrate it and feel good about having it done.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:46

Number five.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:47

Be sure to remember to celebrate.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:49

That little hit of dopamine will help rewire your brain.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:52

Because it likes feeling good.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:53

And it'll start wanting to do that thing more often.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:20:57

Number six, the premise of tiny habits is finding an anchor moment, which acts as a

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prompt for you to do the desired behavior.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:04

Then celebrate that you did it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:06

Create a recipe.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:08

When I blank.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:09

I will blank.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:10

Then I'll celebrate.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:13

Number seven.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:14

Consistent action gets you traction.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:16

We aren't going to be perfect, but just keep showing up those consistent

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:21

tiny steps can add up to big things.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:25

Thanks so much for listening.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:27

It takes action to claim something.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:28

And by tuning in, you're showing up for yourself and your daughter.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:32

And embodying curiosity and a growth mindset.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:35

Celebrate that.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:36

If you haven't done so already follow on your favorite podcasting platform,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:40

tell a friend and leave a review.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:43

Also visit no B raise them.com and drop me a line or a voice memo.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:48

If you have questions, comments, or topic ideas.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:21:52

Again, I am grateful for your time and here's to strong women may we know them