Puberty Power! Empowering Girls to Navigate Change with Confidence // with Konika Ray Wong

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:00:00

I think if everyone sits with an attitude

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of gratitude that our bodies are healthy, that puberty is a privilege.

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Aging, maturing, our bodies growing.

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It's a privilege, and that if our bodies are doing what they are meant

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to be doing, then we're grateful

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Hi, everyone.

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And welcome to know them.

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Be them, raise them a show to help busy, mindful growth oriented moms stay

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informed and inspired as they navigate their daughters, tween and teen years.

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I'm your host Carmelita to join me on the regular four episodes

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about everything under the sun that might matter to moms like us.

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In today's episode.

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I chat with Konika Ray Wong.

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She is a science teacher and a mom on a mission to flip puberty positive.

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How amazing is that?

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She founded girl power science with her daughter during the pandemic,

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when it was obvious, the world needed more girl power and science education.

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For over two decades Konika has been a kindergarten through sixth grade educator.

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She has a master's in education and California teaching credential from

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the university of San Francisco and bachelor of science in biology from

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Virginia Polytechnic university.

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She's also a common sense media certified educator, which if you're like me,

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you check out common sense pretty often when you're trying to tell if

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a book or a movie is appropriate.

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And She's passionate about body literacy, de-stigmatizing puberty and building

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communities of empowered learners that confidently celebrate growth.

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She recently published her first children's book "One in a Million,

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a First Book About Periods."

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This empowering book, which is a guided story for kids ages four and up to read

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with a grown-up is a first step towards helping every little girl feel strong

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and confident in her body and every child with a uterus celebrate their superpowers.

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In "One in a Million" children meet a cute uterus character that takes them on

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a journey that demystifies the process of ovulation and the menstrual cycle.

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The kid friendly characters and simple, scientifically accurate

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text set a positive tone about periods without shame or stigma.

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Here is our amazing conversation.

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It's quick.

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It's fun.

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And I hope you feel as inspired as I did after listening to it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:28

Welcome Konika.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:30

I am so excited to have you here today.

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I think the work that you're doing is super important as a mom of two girls

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and, you know, knowing their friends, knowing the spaces that they navigate.

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Uh, this topic is just so timeless and I'm, I'm glad that you're here

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:46

today to share a little bit with us.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:49

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: Thanks for having me.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:49

My pleasure.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:51

So, why don't we kick things off with you telling us

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:02:54

a little bit about yourself and what led you to write your recent book.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:02:58

Yes, so I'm a science teacher and a mom.

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I've been teaching science to elementary kids, kindergarten

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through fourth grade for two decades.

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So really long time.

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And, I am really passionate about flipping puberty positive because

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my experience was just so negative.

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And then, you know, when I began teaching my own students, um, I passionately

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wanted it to be different for them.

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And the more I dived in, it was very healing for me as well.

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Supporting kids and parents around, you know, flipping this

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narrative positive, has really just.

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Raise my confidence along in the journey.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:03:36

Mm.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:03:37

Something that came up as you were sharing, this was a very recent

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:03:40

conversation I had with a colleague who kind of shared with me almost in

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an embarrassed way that her daughter Just got her period and how she didn't

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know what to tell her because she didn't grow up being taught that , she

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wasn't exposed to sort of a healthy way to navigate this situation.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:03:58

So we commiserated and collaborated and I gave her some hopefully helpful tips.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:04:02

But yes, I think this idea of reframing the puberty narrative, as you say

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:04:08

is key, and needs such a shift.

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And as an Asian American, um, the narrative in my head

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was I just thought it was an Asian thing.

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And now that I'm really working internationally with different

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parents, I realize it's universal.

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So yeah, that has been healing.

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I.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:04:29

Now, what would you, what would you advise

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people like as a starting point?

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How can parents do that?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:04:35

How can we reframe this narrative?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:04:38

Yeah, so I think probably the first place to start,

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uh, so many parents approach me and say they feel ill-equipped because

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they had no education around puberty.

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Their families didn't talk about it, so in a dream world, I would

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actually love to replace the word puberty, uh, with something different.

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Just, you know, language matters and just the word is triggering not only for, you

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know, the grownups in the room, but the kids, you know, uh, I just say that word

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and, uh, and there's giggles, there's, you know, flushed faces, embarrassment, shame.

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So I would love to replace it with celebrate growth.

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You know, parents say they signed up for this, their child

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for this puberty workshop.

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What should they tell them?

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And just let's first begin by, by replacing it by celebrating growth.

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The second thing is, let's separate it from sexual maturity.

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puberty is starting, modern puberty is starting as early as age seven.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:05:44

Mm-hmm.

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And you know, when we use that old school

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language that she's becoming a woman,

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not relevant at age seven, and it can be depressing for both parents

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to think that their seven year old is becoming quote unquote a

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woman, and for that child as well.

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You know, they're enjoying their childhood.

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And, there are some kids that have gotten really emotional about having to come

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to one of my puberty workshops and in a beautiful way the parents have broken down

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and asked them, you know, what is going on and they're not ready to grow up yet.

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It's as simple as that.

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Like we've placed this whole , um, narrative around what they

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might be feeling that's more complex, but it's really as

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simple as they're still children.

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So I think starting from that place that, this isn't, um, sexual maturity per se.

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I know the scientific definition, but a lot of things need to change,

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you know, and those definitions have been around for ages.

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Um, so I just see it as celebrating growth.

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And then the second piece is, Coming from a place of having an attitude of

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gratitude that our bodies are healthy,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:06:54

Hmm.

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working, you know, in this post pandemic era.

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I think if everyone sits with that or starts with that,

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that puberty is a privilege.

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Aging, maturing, our bodies growing.

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It's a p a privilege, and that if our bodies are doing what they

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are meant to be doing, then we're grateful that we are healthy.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:16

Yeah.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:17

Oh my gosh.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:18

There are so many reframes and, uh, perspective shifts in what you

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:22

just shared that resonated with me.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:24

I think first, sort of coming up with a different definition for puberty or having

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:29

this, vocabulary swap, if you will, to celebrating growth does feel so important.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:35

It reminds me a little bit of how.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:38

I mean, it's sort of related to how many body positivity.

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Um, experts and coaches and therapists are trying to help people understand

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that the word fat shouldn't be loaded with this negative connotation.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:50

It's just this non.

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Good.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:07:54

Not bad.

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Just a thing.

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And similarly, you're right, I think puberty has really taken on this

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negative connotation that makes people feel squeamish and uncomfortable and

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giggly and awkward, like you said.

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So really planting these seeds in our kids that it's nothing to be afraid of.

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It's nothing to, um, tease someone else about or feels shame around.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:16

It's really just celebrating growth that feels like a huge.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:20

Huge perspective shift that I love.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:22

And it's easy, like when your kids say the word puberty and you can sense that

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there's discomfort around it, helping to sort of say, yeah, I noticed this.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:32

Um, curious where this came from.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:34

And it's actually a celebration of growth- that feels super

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:39

powerful and, uh, actionable.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:41

So I had to get that out there.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:08:43

Love that.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:08:44

Yes, it's, I mean, I think that that parallel to fat, you

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know, it's about that neutrality and it's about being really scientific.

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So, instead of this laundry list where we've put a negative spin on,

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you know, whether it's pimples or mood swings, um, we can very neutrally

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describe each of the changes in a way that this is what healthy bodies do.

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And I have positive spins for every single one of the changes.

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And I like to start, instead of the old traditional paradigm of mood swings,

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well it is actually mood swings, but it's a spin on it, which is just the

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brain remodel, the growth mindset.

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Um, and you know, just this idea that, you know, our brains,

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Are shifting in powerful ways.

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Another replacement word is just a transformation.

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You're in an exci.

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You know, I tell them that they are in their bodies are in a very

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exciting stage of transformation.

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I also like to normalize it as just one more stage of growth instead of like

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magnifying this one area, you know, the brain remodel can start as early

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as age seven and, and it ends at 25.

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So so I tell them, you know, they've lost teeth and the way

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their body looked and functioned, has changed, but we celebrated it.

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Some have the tooth fairy, other people have different traditions, and, and

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similarly, if we can just make this a smooth path and not all of a sudden

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emphasize this as this different thing.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:13

Yeah.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:14

Yeah.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:15

And I also love what you touched on with this connotation that,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:19

menstruation means you're a woman.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:22

Um, as if, I don't know, the, the implication is that somehow this

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:27

individual is now ready to be in this space of maturity and, there's a odd

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:33

unspoken link to being able to get pregnant and childbearing with womanhood.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:38

And so, I just kind of love distancing and not using that phraseology,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:10:44

uh, because I've always thought that doesn't sit quite right.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:10:49

Yes.

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And so many of the cycle tracking apps go right into fertility.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:10:54

Um, you know, to your point, and that's why I wrote the

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book in the way that I did.

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Just in teaching my students, I.

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The narrative that I wanted.

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So actually, another I guess piece of advice in terms of

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reframing is it's not one big talk.

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These are all small planting seeds all along the way.

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And, it's been really fun to get feedback about the book and so

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many people say the simplicity really resonates, how short it is.

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You know, my teaching style as a science teacher and as a parent, you know, I have

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a daughter that's 12 years old, is to plant those little seeds and then allow

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their curiosity to guide where we go next.

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You know, kids are gonna, and humans in general, tune us

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out at, at a certain point.

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We all know you get like maybe about three minutes, you know, and, and so just that

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idea to keep it simple, keep it short.

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And then, we don't know in terms of in the brain remodel, um, where

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they are until we allow their questions to come to the forefront.

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And they're also so, so much more interested when it's their

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questions getting answered.

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So it's not one big talk.

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And ideally, these are teachable moments when, you know, when a child

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sees a tampon in your purse and maybe they're two or three years old, the

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:12:05

tone of our voice, you know, and it can make such a big difference.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:10

Yeah.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:10

Yeah.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:11

I think it's important, to remind moms of that, the ways that we, in those small

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:16

moments throughout their lives, talk about our periods or don't talk about them,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:21

like the, the lack of conversation at all.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:23

That in itself says something about this topic, and I, that was kind of a aha

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:29

moment for me when my girls were littler.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:31

I was very used to hiding the tampons and you know, not mentioning when

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:36

I was having hormonal fluctuations.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:39

And then I realized I.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:41

What is this sending them?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:42

It's telling them that this is taboo.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:43

Is it telling them that I'm uncomfortable talking about it and

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:47

they're learning that they should be uncomfortable talking about it?

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:50

So yeah, we, we've had a lot of discussions, and even though I've

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:54

had many discussions, I am excited to introduce them to the reframes

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:12:58

that you present in your book and your workshops, cuz it's they sound

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:13:01

com super compelling and helpful.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:03

Yeah, I recently had a parent say that, her daughter came home

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:07

after our workshop and she was so excited.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:10

Um, there was a family gathering and they asked, what was your workshop about?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:14

She said, periods in a very neutral, excited, almost tone,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:18

and there was silence in the room.

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And the mom said she too didn't know what to do with that silence, so she

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changed the subject to the weather and you know, we normalized the topic

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in our workshop and within this drive home and, and entering her home space,

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she's getting a whole different message.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:36

And that's confusing for kids to navigate that, you know, here we are

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comfortable about celebrating growth and our bodies being healthy and this one

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space, and now this word was powerful enough to silence a room and have her

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:13:49

mom change the subject to the weather.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:13:51

Gosh, I could completely see myself or some,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:13:54

you know, friends of mine in that kind of situation where you're these, these

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:13:57

generational contexts and differences and not knowing how to talk about it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:02

It's great that your daughters have, a newfound excitement, but being prepared

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:14:06

to as an adult, kind of back them up on that, um, makes, is important as well.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:12

Yes, yes.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:13

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Another thing you mentioned which

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:15

I hadn't thought about, but the idea that puberty is a privilege.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:21

It's, um, I think so often , I'll have these glimpses into the world that my

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:26

daughters navigate and how it just, it's just our normal, but as compared

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to a broader scale of the world and, you know, global challenges, uh, I, I

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:36

feel so grateful and blessed that we are somewhere where nutritious food is

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:41

accessible, where they're able to move freely, where, um, they have options

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in terms of what they can do with their bodies and how they can get out there.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:50

And so all of.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:52

All of that put in this phrase of puberty is a privilege that, that's so impactful.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:58

Yes.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:14:59

And you know, I think what may be the parallel to that is that so many

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of the parents I'm working with are going through perimenopause, and

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:05

that's another mysterious area where we, there's very minimal research

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:10

on women's health in this area.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:12

You know, I'm friends with, many doctors that say that their training

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:15

didn't really include, um, That topic similarly, aging is a privilege.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:21

We can even broaden it from puberty being a privilege to aging.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:24

Uh, you know, the fact that we've gotten this far and we're healthy,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:15:27

you know, is really a luxury.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:30

yeah.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:30

And the idea of normalizing transformation.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:35

The idea that they are going through a transformation in

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:38

this seven to 25 age range.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:40

Um, hopefully also plants seeds that our bodies will always change and evolve.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:46

And this is just part of it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:48

Like, I like to think that my daughters, they remember when they were three and

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:52

four, they look at their baby pictures and all that stuff, and so they can see

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:15:55

that evolution and not expect it to stop when they become an quote unquote adult.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:01

Um, I think that's another.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:03

Like in celebrating bodily transformation in a general sense.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:08

I like to think that that's also encouraging them to be open to the

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:12

ways that our bodies change as we age, as we, maybe in our forties

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:16

we look or feel different than we did in our twenties, and helping

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:19

to feel, make that feel normal too.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:16:21

Yes.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:16:22

And even before puberty, like I said, with the teeth falling out,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:16:25

like it's a whole cycle, right?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:16:27

It's a cycle that continues.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:16:29

Um, and, uh, yeah, I, I mean, I think that that's a, a really good point.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:16:35

Um,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:37

Even kind of encouraging this idea of reframes

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:39

around a phrase or a time of life that has been seen in a negative light.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:45

Allowing them that will make it easier for them to approach perimenopause,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:49

which I think I am myself, dealing with, uh, in mysterious ways.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:53

But yeah, it, it makes them feel more open to those changes and not see

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:16:58

menopause as this negative thing, which it also has a connotation of.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:03

Yep.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:04

And it also, it smoothly transitions into positive body image and body literacy.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:10

Um, so, you know, it's just this reframe is pretty powerful in

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:15

terms of, uh, a lot of levels.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:18

I love it.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:20

All right, so I would love for you to kind of give us a few takeaways

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:25

that if the listeners are going to remember anything from this discussion,

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:17:30

what would you like them to remember?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:32

Well, I love that we really, I did a deep

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:35

dive on puberty as a privilege.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:37

I think, that attitude of gratitude, that our bodies are healthy.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:41

Um, and then if we start this discussion about this transformation with the growth

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:47

mindset and the brain remodel, then remembering that we can, we can do hard

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:52

things and that practice makes progress when we think about, just in terms

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:56

of, you know, our neurological growth.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:17:59

The more we practice.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:01

And we have been, like you said, I mean from our bodies have been

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:04

changing from before we were even born and they will continue to change

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:09

throughout our entire lifetime.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:11

And change can be stressful, but the more that we know knowledge is powerful.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:18

Um, so the more we can get that scientific knowledge to understand

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:22

that our bodies are healthy when they're going through all of these

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:24

changes, I think is really powerful.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:27

Mm.

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:27

And do you have, a favorite quote or affirmation you'd like to leave

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: 00:18:32

with the listeners on this topic?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:35

I mean, I think so.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:36

So listening to your body, I guess, you know, body literacy is all about, like,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:41

our bodies are like a compass and we just need to learn how to read them, right?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:45

And so whether we're talking about hunger cues, Or even technology consumption.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:52

How is, how are things making us feel?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:55

So listen to your body.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:18:56

It's something I say to my daughter, it's something I say to my students.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:00

It's just this moment of like checking in, of, you know,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:04

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: That Yes, that is so important.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:07

For whatever reason, maybe it was told to me, but I didn't

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:09

listen or it didn't sink in.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:11

But I feel like I was a little late in life to, to tune into

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:15

some of those bodily cues.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:17

You know, I would push, push, push, kind of override the tiredness, override

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:21

the stress, you know, manifestations to get things done or be hyper-productive

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:26

or kind of keep going, going.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:27

But I, I love that idea of embracing it and encouraging our daughters to

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:31

embrace it at a young age, cuz that hopefully will allow them to navigate

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:35

situations and not get burnt out, not get overwhelmed, eat healthy, be active

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:40

and, yeah, just generally speaking, prep them for a higher baseline of,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:46

contentment, health, all of those

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:48

And it's all healing for us.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:50

And it's a great excuse actually for self-care because we are the

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:53

role models and they're watching us.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:55

And as we are becoming workaholics, you know, I see my daughter you

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:19:59

know, mirroring what I, how I am.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:01

So it's just great reminder that they're watching everything we're doing.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:05

They're listening to everything we say, and that as we take care

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:08

of ourselves, that we're teaching them to listen to their bodies

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:11

and take care of themselves too.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:17

Uh, this chat with Konika kind of made me wish I was 10 and

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:21

didn't have my period yet.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:22

So I could read this book and feel differently from the get-go.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:26

Here are my key takeaways.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:28

Number one.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:29

Put a positive spin on things.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:31

If the word puberty makes your kid feel uncomfortable, swap in

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:35

celebrating growth or transformation.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:38

Another example is mood swings.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:40

Instead of seeing it as a bad thing.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:43

Remind them that it's a sign of a brain remodel.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:47

Number two.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:48

Let's separate puberty from sexual maturity.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:51

Puberty can start as early as seven and phrases like she's

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:20:55

becoming a woman or you're a woman now when she gets her period.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:00

Can make it more emotionally challenging for both kids and parents

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:04

where there's likely a disconnect between those phrases and how those

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:07

kids and parents actually feel.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:10

Number three.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:11

Puberty is a privilege.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:13

Foster an attitude of gratitude that our bodies are healthy.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:17

Change can be stressful, but we can do hard things.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:22

Number four.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:23

Normalize that our bodies are constantly changing throughout our lives.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:26

When our bodies change, this means our bodies are healthy and doing

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:30

what they're supposed to be doing.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:32

Whether we're talking about growing from a baby to a kid, to puberty or to menopause.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:38

And number five, our bodies are like a compass and we just

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:42

need to learn how to read them.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:44

So whether we're talking about hunger cues or technology consumption,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:48

or even how we feel in a certain situation or around people.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:51

Listen to your body.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:53

Notice how things make you feel and encourage your daughter

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:21:56

to trust those instincts.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:01

To learn more about Konika, her book and workshops visit Girl power science.com.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:07

You can follow her on Instagram at girl power science and of course

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:11

buy her book "One in a Million, a First Book About Periods" on Amazon.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:16

These links are in the show notes as well.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:19

Two final things.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:21

One, if you like what you heard, please tell a friend, follow the podcast and

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:25

leave a review on apple or Spotify.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:28

It's like Yelp or Google for your favorite restaurants?

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:31

Um, it may not feel like much, but it does make a difference.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:34

And thanks to all of those that have left reviews in the past.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:37

And secondly, remember to keep an eye out for more info about

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:41

the rise and raise collective.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:42

Uh, community to support busy and mindful moms who want to raise

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:46

their daughters with intention.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:47

And who know that also means becoming their best selves too,

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:52

since values are caught, not taught.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:54

I'm working hard behind the scenes to put something together.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:22:57

So if you're interested on in getting on the wait list, uh, feel free

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:00

to DM me on Facebook or Instagram.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:03

Or shoot me an email at hello at carmelitatiu.com.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:07

That's C a R M E L I T a t I U dot com.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:13

Thanks so much for listening.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:15

it really is a symbol of your commitment to personal growth, as well as showing up

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:20

the best way you can for your daughters when you listened to this podcast.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:24

So I am applauding you from the bottom of my heart.

Konika Ray Wong, GPS: 00:23:27

And here's to strong women may we know them may we be them and may we raise them.