Kids, Tech & the Good Enough Digital Parent // with Katie Davis
Kids and technology use – we’ve all asked ourselves, how much screen time should kids have? Am I giving my kids too much? When should they get cell phones? The list goes on.
Today's guest, Dr. Katie Davis, is an Associate Professor at the University of Washington (UW) and Director of the UW Digital Youth Lab. For nearly twenty years, Dr. Davis has been researching the impact of digital technologies on young people’s learning, development, and well-being.
She is the author of three books, including Technology’s Child: Digital Media’s Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up (March 2023).
Tune in to hear:
- Why asking "Is screen time is good or bad?" isn't the right question
- Her two-step tool to supporting healthy tech experiences
- What self-directed tech experiences are - what to look for and what to avoid
- A quick reframe that'll ease your mind about your tween or teen's tech time
- How we can all be a Good Enough Digital Parent
It's 25 minutes you'll be glad you listened to!
To connect with Katie:
- Website: https://katiedavisresearch.com/
- Instagram: @katiebda
- X (Twitter): @katiebda
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kedavis12/
- Sign up for the Technology’s Child newsletter at https://katiedavisresearch.com/
Episode Resources
About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu
Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle. Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for those around us. Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.
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Transcript
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Welcome to know them.
Speaker:Be them, raise them a show that helps moms be and raise strong
Speaker:women, Through regular audio doses of information and inspiration.
Speaker:I'm Carmelita to mom of two tween, soon to be teen girls, spouse, co-parent,
Speaker:life coach, working mom and your host.
Speaker:So today's topic, kids and technology use, is one that is so
Speaker:pervasive that it's almost cliche.
Speaker:We've all asked ourselves how much screen time should kids have?
Speaker:Am I giving my kids too much?
Speaker:Am I a bad parent for letting my kids spend an entire rainy
Speaker:afternoon playing Roblox?
Speaker:When should they get cell phones?
Speaker:The list goes on and on.
Speaker:That's why I leapt at the opportunity to chat with Dr.
Speaker:Katie Davis associate professor at the university of Washington (UW) and
Speaker:director of the UW digital youth lab.
Speaker:Dr.
Speaker:Davis holds two master's degrees and a doctorate in
Speaker:human development and education.
Speaker:From Harvard graduate school of education.
Speaker:For nearly 20 years, Dr.
Speaker:Davis has been researching the impact of digital technologies on young people's
Speaker:learning development and wellbeing.
Speaker:She has published more than 70 academic publications and is the author of
Speaker:three books exploring technology's role in young people's lives.
Speaker:The app generation with Howard Gardner, Writers in the secret garden.
Speaker:Fanfiction youth and new forms of mentoring with Cecilia Aragon, and
Speaker:most recently technology's child.
Speaker:Digital media's role in the ages and stages of growing up, which
Speaker:was released in March of 2023.
Speaker:In each of these books and in our interview,
Speaker:Dr.
Speaker:Davis draws on her expertise in developmental science
Speaker:and technology design.
Speaker:As well as her experiences as a parent to help us make sense of the often
Speaker:confusing landscape of research and media messages about kids and technology.
Speaker:Here's our conversation.
Speaker:Hello, Katie.
Speaker:It's so great to meet you and talk with you.
Speaker:I'm just really excited to hear your thoughts on this
Speaker:important issue and your book.
Katie Davis:Thank you so much for having me, Cat.
Katie Davis:I'm delighted to be here.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I'd love to start by hearing you share with
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:the listeners a little bit about what brought you to the work that you do
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:and the books that you've written.
Katie Davis:Yeah, so I've been researching kids and technology
Katie Davis:for almost 20 years now.
Katie Davis:It's hard to believe.
Katie Davis:But before that, my professional hat that I wore was as an
Katie Davis:elementary school teacher.
Katie Davis:And so this was back in the early to mid two thousands.
Katie Davis:And, you know, I, loved teaching.
Katie Davis:I always wanted to be a teacher.
Katie Davis:I wanted to be a teacher and a writer.
Katie Davis:and I feel like I still am, I'm a writer for sure, and I get to teach
Katie Davis:still, but older kids, and adults.
Katie Davis:But, I was always interested in how children come to learn about.
Katie Davis:Themselves and their role in society.
Katie Davis:And as I was experiencing life as a teacher in the classroom and sometimes
Katie Davis:outside the classroom, for instance, talking with parents or doing lunch duty,
Katie Davis:it became clear to me that technology was increasingly becoming central to how
Katie Davis:that happened and how young people learn, how they develop, how they make sense.
Katie Davis:Of the world.
Katie Davis:And so I went to graduate school to really understand a little bit more how
Katie Davis:were these new technologies transforming the process of learning and development.
Katie Davis:. So I went to grad school in 2005.
Katie Davis:And if you think about what was going on that time, MySpace was still very big.
Katie Davis:Facebook had just launched and it was only available for, college
Katie Davis:students and only in a limited way.
Katie Davis:YouTube was new, very new and we were just on the cusp of so many interesting and
Katie Davis:transformative technologies, , and so.
Katie Davis:Being able to be a researcher starting back then, all throughout this time
Katie Davis:and watching the changes and the new platforms that have come online, and
Katie Davis:I've now written three books about some aspect of kids and technology
Katie Davis:and it's just been, so interesting to watch the changes over the years.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Hmm Hmm.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Well, speaking of your latest book, technology's Child, digital Media's role
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:in the ages and stages of growing up?
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I love how it's structured because as a busy parent and, not having
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:toddlers anymore, I sort of.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Skimmed over the, the sections, the chronology of, you know, early
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:stage development, et cetera.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:so it, it just feels very practical and approachable.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:you clearly pack a ton of information into this, but again, it feels very
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:accessible because of the way it's set up.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:And, the language that you write in felt very straightforward.
Katie Davis:Yeah, it was actually by design.
Katie Davis:I did that because, you know, I, as a researcher, I've been very comfortable
Katie Davis:with the complexity of this area.
Katie Davis:It's, it's very complicated.
Katie Davis:Whenever people ask me, what's the impact of technology on kids?
Katie Davis:Is it good or is it bad?
Katie Davis:I have invariably answered, well, it's complicated.
Katie Davis:Sometimes it can be good, sometimes it can be bad.
Katie Davis:But then when I became a parent myself, I realized that that doesn't really give
Katie Davis:you concrete strategies for parenting.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Hmm.
Katie Davis:And so I was really motivated to write technology's child
Katie Davis:in an attempt to bring my researcher hat and my parent hat together and,
Katie Davis:and try and give my parent self some concrete, actionable advice.
Katie Davis:That I could actually use day to day.
Katie Davis:And so that's what I was really trying to do for myself and
Katie Davis:for parents and teachers.
Katie Davis:I addressed, learning as well.
Katie Davis:And so, yeah.
Katie Davis:I'm really glad to hear that, you found the same thing.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:definitely.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Well, and, and right off the bat, I think it's part of the introduction, but
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:you made a statement about how asking whether screens and screen time are
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:good or bad are not the right questions.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:It's just technology has become too central to our lives.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:And I have to admit, when I read that I had this weight lifted off my shoulders
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:because I think part of me is still stuck in that like, screen time is bad
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I need to manage, I need to.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Put like hard boundaries on these things and it really, I don't know if
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:normalized or just sort of, validated the complexity of the issue and it made
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:me think, okay, there's a different way and it doesn't have to mean black
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:and white, like draconian measures that to date have not felt very successful
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:when I've been trying to implement anything of the sort with my daughters.
Katie Davis:That's right.
Katie Davis:It's really, you know, to ask is it, is it good or is it bad?
Katie Davis:You know, we're, we've left that question.
Katie Davis:Far behind, especially since the pandemic technology is just so
Katie Davis:firmly entrenched in our lives.
Katie Davis:It's really hard to escape.
Katie Davis:And so the question I'm asking in this book is, when is technology good and
Katie Davis:when is it bad for children's development at different stages of development?
Katie Davis:And so I look at different stages starting from toddlers, going all the way up
Katie Davis:to 20 something in emerging adulthood.
Katie Davis:And I look at.
Katie Davis:When can technology support healthy development?
Katie Davis:And what are the signs importantly, and when might it undermine or get
Katie Davis:in the way of healthy development?
Katie Davis:And I really boiled down the research into two steps.
Katie Davis:So I call it the two step decision tool to evaluate is this experience that
Katie Davis:my child is having, is this good for them or is it not so good for them?
Katie Davis:And so the first step, and I use this every day in my
Katie Davis:parenting of my son Oliver.
Katie Davis:I ask, is this experience self-directed?
Katie Davis:And by self-directed, I mean, is this.
Katie Davis:An experience where my son is in the driver's seat of his technology
Katie Davis:experience and typically the kinds of technology experience that place
Katie Davis:a child in the driver's seat and give them agency tend to be open-ended.
Katie Davis:They tend to be self-paced.
Katie Davis:Things that.
Katie Davis:Really allow for a lot of choice, that aren't designed to co-opt attention.
Katie Davis:So if you think about social media, it's kind of the
Katie Davis:ultimate co-op of our attention.
Katie Davis:it doesn't have to be that way though.
Katie Davis:So I talk a lot in the book about how the design of certain technologies
Katie Davis:makes it more or less self-directed.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Ah, can you shed a little more light on maybe examples
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:of instances where you felt like it was a successful self-directed technology
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:relationship versus say social media.
Katie Davis:Right.
Katie Davis:Absolutely.
Katie Davis:So one example that I give is, and this is for younger kids, but my son Oliver,
Katie Davis:loves this app called Peppa's Paint Box.
Katie Davis:It's from Peppa Pig
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Hmm.
Katie Davis:it's a drawing app.
Katie Davis:And when he opens it, he's taken to a blank canvas automatically and he
Katie Davis:really is in the driver's seat there.
Katie Davis:He can decide what color he wants to choose, what implement he wants to
Katie Davis:use, whether it's a paintbrush or a pencil, and he can decide what he's
Katie Davis:gonna draw and put on that blank canvas.
Katie Davis:There's no music in the background that kind of emphasizes.
Katie Davis:A forward motion as many apps have music or they have timers that are counting down
Katie Davis:and they really are dictating the pace.
Katie Davis:With this app, it's very much self-paced rather than system paced,
Katie Davis:and there aren't any characters.
Katie Davis:Sometimes in kids' games, there are characters who cry when you exit the game.
Katie Davis:And that is sort of an, an incentive to keep the child on the
Katie Davis:platform and keep them playing.
Katie Davis:so that's an actually a great example of a, a dark pattern in design.
Katie Davis:There are lots of these dark patterns that designers will introduce deliberately
Katie Davis:into the design of a technology, whether it's for children or adults.
Katie Davis:And the specific purpose is to.
Katie Davis:Keep us engaged, keep our hold our attention, and keep us on
Katie Davis:the platform with social media.
Katie Davis:Examples would be the infinite scroll.
Katie Davis:There used to actually be an end to our feed, but there is no longer an end.
Katie Davis:Our feeds also used to be curated chronologically.
Katie Davis:Now they're curated algorithmically for the most part.
Katie Davis:And again, they're curated based on what the algorithm knows will capture
Katie Davis:our attention and hold our attention, not necessarily what is gonna support a
Katie Davis:feeling of mastery and self-direction.
Katie Davis:So yeah, so those are just some examples of when design can be used to support
Katie Davis:self-direction and when it can be used, not so much to support self-correction.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I think sometimes it can feel like a gray area
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:and knowing some of the, the signs or things to look for is super helpful.
Katie Davis:Absolutely.
Katie Davis:Another thing that I look for and, it's based on research, that has been
Katie Davis:done actually by some of my colleagues at the University of Washington
Katie Davis:is determining when your child is interacting with the technology.
Katie Davis:It could be their phone, it could be a video game.
Katie Davis:Are they able to hold a conversation with you or is their attention completely
Katie Davis:absorbed in what they're doing now?
Katie Davis:Some of that is fine.
Katie Davis:You know, I let my son watch TV and when he is watching tv, nobody can talk to him.
Katie Davis:but I try to limit that because that's more of a passive experience and.
Katie Davis:There's not a lot that he's really doing.
Katie Davis:Sometimes we'll have interesting conversations about the show
Katie Davis:afterwards, and I try to encourage that because I can try to develop his
Katie Davis:storytelling abilities and, trying to understand what he, if anything
Katie Davis:he might have learned from the show.
Katie Davis:But, yeah, thinking about what can your child have a conversation with you,
Katie Davis:is a really good indicator if they're still in control of their attention.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Ah, A a As you say that I'm thinking
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:about all the times I've said something and there's no response.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I'm like, hello?
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Excuse me.
Katie Davis:Yeah, absolutely.
Katie Davis:And you know, we can turn this on ourselves as parents too.
Katie Davis:Sometimes I notice that Oliver tries to make a bid for my attention, but I
Katie Davis:am checking my phone or I'm checking my email and I realize, oh my goodness,
Katie Davis:my attention is totally co-opted.
Katie Davis:I am not in the driver's seat right now of my.
Katie Davis:Technology experience, so it really can go both ways and it's very
Katie Davis:useful I think, because parents are often struggling with the same
Katie Davis:things that their kids are struggling with when it comes to technology.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I'm so glad you mentioned that, cuz
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:it is one of the themes that I.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I think I tend to hit on in, my podcast is basically the importance of role modeling.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:And so being self-aware and noticing yourself and how these same things might
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:affect us as parents is super important.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:and a great reminder.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Yeah.
Katie Davis:Yeah, and role modeling is actually a really important piece of the
Katie Davis:second step of this two-step decision tool, and that is community support.
Katie Davis:So parents are huge sources of community support, for kids technology experiences.
Katie Davis:And so this is the case.
Katie Davis:With little kids.
Katie Davis:So when I'm watching Oliver play Peppa's Paintbox, or when he's
Katie Davis:watching tv, I'm trying to talk with him about what he's learning.
Katie Davis:So all of that, what I'm doing is providing support around
Katie Davis:his technology experience.
Katie Davis:When you get into older kids, tweens and teens, you know, they have much
Katie Davis:more, more sophisticated internal lives.
Katie Davis:You can have more in-depth conversations.
Katie Davis:And this, I think, is a great opportunity to role model, not
Katie Davis:just to show your kids look at how I do it, and I'm doing so well.
Katie Davis:Because it can be very powerful to show them what you're struggling with and
Katie Davis:maybe even have a dialogue and maybe even come up with strategies together.
Katie Davis:So one very common struggle that parents and teens have is checking
Katie Davis:their phone during the night.
Katie Davis:And that's a great opportunity to think, well, maybe we can have a pact where we
Katie Davis:put our phones in a different room and you know, sort of become a team in trying
Katie Davis:to, address some of these challenges.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Mm.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:I I love that to your point about, as your kids get older, having dialogue,
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:having discussion, cuz I think so much of.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:At least when I was raising my kids when they were a little younger,
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:were thoughts around limiting the screen time, and restricting what
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:it was that they had access to, which I still think is important
Katie Davis:absolutely.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:And I think what you raise here about not
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:seeing technology as a necessary evil, but kind of acknowledging that it
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:exists and taking opportunities when you can to have it bring you closer.
Katie Davis:Finding common ground I think is so important, finding
Katie Davis:connection, especially when you are thinking about tweens and teens, sometimes
Katie Davis:conversations can be challenging to have.
Katie Davis:And, I think one thing that parents can do is approach these conversations
Katie Davis:with real empathy and curiosity.
Katie Davis:And really consider what teens are doing developmentally and
Katie Davis:just how important it is to them.
Katie Davis:So it's not that they're just hanging out with their friends, wasting time in the
Katie Davis:context of hanging out with their friends.
Katie Davis:They're doing really important development around their social development, their
Katie Davis:identity development, and you might even think of that as a job that they have.
Katie Davis:It's their developmental job is to figure out who they are and who
Katie Davis:their friends are and what role they're gonna play in society.
Katie Davis:Sometimes adults minimize or even dismiss Some things that teens are doing is
Katie Davis:not important, but if we reframe that a little bit and think they're actually
Katie Davis:doing a very important job, that's just as important as your job or my
Katie Davis:job, that can help those conversations.
Katie Davis:And really support a connection between parent and child in these
Katie Davis:conversations so that teens don't feel judged or they don't feel dismissed.
Katie Davis:It's, that's really important cuz if they feel that they're not
Katie Davis:really being listened to or their experiences aren't really being
Katie Davis:taken seriously, they're unlikely to share a lot with their parents.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Hmm hmm.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Now, as you're saying this, I'm recalling an instance where, like, as a, I guess
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:it was kind of a punishment, but my knee jerk was to restrict access to the device,
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:but now I'm thinking, To your point about kind of that social interaction
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:being their job and developing as a young person and this device being part
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:of that, what advice do you have for parents in terms of access to technology
Katie Davis:Well, I think, you know, parents have many roles that they can play
Katie Davis:in this, and one role is as gatekeeper, especially in the early tween years.
Katie Davis:There's a lot going on online and you don't want your child
Katie Davis:to be exposed to all of it.
Katie Davis:So I think it's absolutely.
Katie Davis:reasonable for parents to play a larger role, especially in the early teen years.
Katie Davis:So, for instance, introducing parental controls.
Katie Davis:there's even an operating system that is specifically, tailored and designed for.
Katie Davis:tweens and teens
Katie Davis:And I think that that is absolutely appropriate.
Katie Davis:But importantly, I think if.
Katie Davis:Parents are going to use these tools like parental control apps and such.
Katie Davis:It's important not just to put them on your child's phone and use them
Katie Davis:to spy on them, but rather, use it as a way to engage in conversations
Katie Davis:and say, these are the things that I am concerned about and this is.
Katie Davis:What I'm gonna do as a result, and we're gonna have an ongoing dialogue and we're
Katie Davis:going to observe and see how things go.
Katie Davis:And over time we may remove some of the guardrails as appropriate.
Katie Davis:And it's gonna be very individual child to child because children have very different
Katie Davis:trajectories in their development.
Katie Davis:And I think, you know, a one size fits all is not going to
Katie Davis:work when it comes to when to.
Katie Davis:Introduce a phone, when to allow your child onto social
Katie Davis:media and things like that.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:That's another thing I loved about, your book was that
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:real encouragement to be, subjective or custom if you will, to your child's
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:needs and your child's situation.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:Cuz I can imagine that.
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:if you have a child that struggles with a D H D or has some emotional concerns,
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:you may manage things in a different way versus, maybe a kid that really wants
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:to interact with social media strictly for, talking about Roblox or talking
Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:about like their games or whatnot.
Katie Davis:Kids are all different.
Katie Davis:They're all very different.
Katie Davis:So in technology's child, I introduced the idea of a good enough digital parent,
Katie Davis:and the overarching framework for that, is first, the recognition of just how
Katie Davis:much pressure there is on parents today when it comes to raising their kids.
Katie Davis:And it's not just technology, but everything about parenting, making
Katie Davis:sure that you're, you know, feeding them healthy foods and that you're
Katie Davis:signing them up for the best camps.
Katie Davis:, and then, you know, putting them on a path where they have had all these experiences
Katie Davis:that they get into a good college.
Katie Davis:There's just so much pressure on parents, and that applies to
Katie Davis:technology experience as well.
Katie Davis:And so I introduced the good enough digital parent as an antidote to
Katie Davis:all of that pressure and that guilt.
Katie Davis:the idea actually comes from a pediatrician, Donald Winnicott,
Katie Davis:from the middle of the 20th century.
Katie Davis:and Winnicott was talking about the idea of the good enough mother.
Katie Davis:I've updated it at least to say, okay, the good enough parent,
Katie Davis:um, um, fathers and mothers equally.
Katie Davis:And the idea that when a cop was putting forward was that actually, if
Katie Davis:you're there to respond to every bid your child makes for attention, then
Katie Davis:you're actually doing them a disservice.
Katie Davis:So if they're really frustrated, they're trying to figure out a puzzle or a
Katie Davis:homework problem, and if you swoop in and help them solve it, they're
Katie Davis:not gonna build the resilience to work through challenging experiences
Katie Davis:and solve it for themselves.
Katie Davis:If they are super bored and the parent is right there to suggest the next thing
Katie Davis:that they can do, they're never gonna learn how to get themselves unbored.
Katie Davis:So it's actually in kids' best interest Winnicott argued for parents to
Katie Davis:actually embrace imperfection and not always be there 100% for your child.
Katie Davis:So I bring that idea into the digital space and I say, okay, well the
Katie Davis:good enough digital parent is gonna do their best to steer their child
Katie Davis:towards self-directed community supported digital experiences.
Katie Davis:But they'll know that they're not gonna be perfect at it because there's
Katie Davis:always gonna be a new technology.
Katie Davis:They probably don't have time to read all of the reviews in Common
Katie Davis:Sense Media before they download an app or try out a TV show.
Katie Davis:And that's okay.
Katie Davis:good enough digital parents, they try things out.
Katie Davis:Importantly, they observe how their children react, how they react
Katie Davis:themselves, and they adjust accordingly.
Katie Davis:good enough digital parents also recognize that they're struggling
Katie Davis:themselves with technology and that they're not gonna be perfect at this,
Katie Davis:And that's okay because they know that these technologies have been designed
Katie Davis:specifically to co-opt our attention.
Katie Davis:And sometimes we can use our, stumbles as teaching moments to teach our
Katie Davis:children and say, you know what?
Katie Davis:I've just become really distracted.
Katie Davis:Let, let me turn my phone off and we'll just focus on the game that we were
Katie Davis:playing or whatever we were doing before.
Katie Davis:So I'm hoping that this concept of the good enough digital parent will
Katie Davis:ease some of the guilt that I know parents are feeling around technology
Katie Davis:because I am feeling it as well.
Katie Davis:and actually the one other important piece is the recognition that
Katie Davis:parents have not created all of these challenges and they shouldn't
Katie Davis:be expected to solve all of them.
Katie Davis:I think too often all of the burden of society's ills is placed on the family,
Katie Davis:especially in an individualistic society like the US and so, Recognizing that it's
Katie Davis:not just on parents to figure this out, but it's on the government and policy
Katie Davis:and the tech industry itself and schools, everybody has a role to play in supporting
Katie Davis:children's healthy, digital experiences.
Katie Davis:Uh, I really liked this one.
Katie Davis:I think technology is such a difficult thing to wrap your head around.
Katie Davis:So I kind of loved Katie's reassurances on the good enough digital parent.
Katie Davis:So here are my top six takeaways.
Katie Davis:Number one is screen-time good or bad is not really the question.
Katie Davis:Technology is embedded and part of our lives.
Katie Davis:Instead let's ask, how does screen time aid, healthy development?
Katie Davis:Number two.
Katie Davis:Katie has a two step tool for assessing tech first seek self-directed experiences.
Katie Davis:Avoid infinite scrolls, attention tricks, you know, manipulative ploys
Katie Davis:within the games or apps they're using.
Katie Davis:And secondly, the community support aspect, connect with your child
Katie Davis:by discussing their digital world, what they learn, see, and absorb.
Katie Davis:Number three developmentally, it's a teens job to shape their
Katie Davis:identity friendships, and what roles they'll play in society.
Katie Davis:So see online interactions as part of their work.
Katie Davis:This helps us approach talks with empathy and compassion and let
Katie Davis:them be heard and not feel judged.
Katie Davis:Number four parental controls do matter, use them as tools to
Katie Davis:discuss and share your concerns.
Katie Davis:Number five there's no one size fits all approach to tech.
Katie Davis:It really depends on the child.
Katie Davis:Each child develops uniquely.
Katie Davis:And number six, be a good enough digital parent.
Katie Davis:We have a lot of pressure on us.
Katie Davis:Try new things, adjust as needed.
Katie Davis:Admit your struggles and embrace imperfection.
Katie Davis:To learn more about Katie Davis's work visit katiedavisresearch.com and all
Katie Davis:of her books are available on Amazon or at your favorite bookseller, including
Katie Davis:technology's child digital media's role in the ages and stages of growing up.
Katie Davis:It's a helpful read with many actionable tips and, Digestible advice.
Katie Davis:And i recommended for anybody that's really trying to understand
Katie Davis:technology and its impact on kids and wants to incorporate it in a healthy
Katie Davis:way into their children's lives.
Katie Davis:These links are in the show notes as well.
Katie Davis:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Thanks so much for listening.
Katie Davis:It takes action to claim something.
Katie Davis:And by tuning in, you're showing up for yourself and your daughter.
Katie Davis:And embodying curiosity and a growth mindset.
Katie Davis:Celebrate that.
Katie Davis:If you haven't done so already follow on your favorite podcasting platform,
Katie Davis:tell a friend and leave a review.
Katie Davis:Also visit KnowBeRaiseThem.com and drop me a line or a voice memo if you have
Katie Davis:questions, comments, or topic ideas.
Katie Davis:Again, I am grateful for your time and here's to strong women may we know them