Grief, Loss & Parenting // with Shameka Williams
Grief is not exclusive to death. Guest Shameka Williams, founder of Those Without Mothers, and From Grief to Love, shares her journey with grief and the lessons she learned, including:
- Giving yourself permission to grieve
- How grief, loss, transition intertwine
- What can happen if we don't process our grief
- The difference between processing feelings and stewing in them
- How grief is like a weed
To learn more about Shameka, visit www.thosewithoutmothers.com, or find her on Instagram @shamekaspeaks, @thosewithoutmothers, @thebipolarpodcast, and @fromgriefwithlove.
About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu
Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle. Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us. Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.
Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them
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Transcript
You're going to have to feel the feelings.
2
:And most of us don't want
to do that because it hurts.
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:Grief will wait for you.
4
:Loss will wait for you.
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:It will be on the sidelines until
you're ready to deal with it.
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:But the longer you take to deal
with the issues, the more it'll
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:have an effect on you as a person.
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:Hello, all I'm Carmelita too.
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:And welcome to season three of know them.
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:Be them.
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:Raise them.
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:Uh, show to help busy, mindful growth
oriented moms stay informed and inspired.
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:As they navigate their daughters,
tween and teen years So during
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:this break between seasons
two and three, I've been busy.
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:A good chunk of my busy-ness was
related to building my coaching
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:skills and practice and making
progress towards my ICF accreditation.
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:So proud of myself for that.
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:Um, I also continue to work on a
community for moms and podcast listeners.
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:That vision continues to
evolve in exciting ways.
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:And to stay in the know and get
updates or if you're curious about
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:coaching, head to knowberaisethem.com.
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:Uh, you can sign up for my
newsletter there and you can follow
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:@knowberaisethem on Instagram.
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:And now let's move on to the episode.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:
Today's guest is Shemeka Williams.
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:After openly dealing with the loss
of her mother, Shemeka realized that
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:many others needed support and help
dealing with this life changing loss.
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:Being impactful and speaking life into the
world became a personal mission for her.
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:And she founded the organization,
Those Without Mothers.
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:She's also a motivational speaker
who has traveled to various colleges,
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:spreading the word about the importance
of caring for one's mental health.
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:She realized there was a major
deficit in the mental health
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:field that centered around grief,
specifically losing a parent.
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:Determined to help fill the gap.
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:She has continued to present many
tools and resources to members of that
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:community that need a helping hand.
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:Although Shemeka has helped those in
her community, she's determined to aid
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:those around the world with processing
their grief in a healthy manner.
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:Her purpose is her passion.
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:And her goal is to make sure
no one has to grieve alone.
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:Here's our conversation.
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:Hi, Shameka.
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:Thank you for joining me.
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:Shameka Williams: Yes,
I'm so excited to be here.
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:Thank you for having me.
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:It is a pleasure to meet
you and be on your platform.
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:Absolutely.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: I just
wish the listeners could bask in the
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:warmth and energy that you exude.
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:I can see it through the camera.
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:Of course, podcasts
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:Shameka Williams: you.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:
not being a visual, medium.
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:The listeners may not enjoy
that, but I'm just thrilled to
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:be sharing space with you today.
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:Shameka Williams: Oh, thank you.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: So I'd love
to hear a little bit about how you got
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:your start doing the work that you do.
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:Shameka Williams: Yeah.
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:So I, I got my start initially when my
mother passed away, my mother passed
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:away about I want to say 13 years ago.
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:And when my mom passed away,
I went through a season of
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:very destructive behaviors.
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:You know, there was addictions, there
were things that I was trying to do
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:to fill the hole that my mother left.
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:And so.
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:Coming from that I learned that
there were so many people who were
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:like me who didn't have any support.
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:they didn't know how
to navigate this space.
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:And, you know, thank God I was able
to kind of get the therapy I needed
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:and get the help that I needed.
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:But one of the things that really
helped me was, although I love therapy
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:I found a grief coach and the difference
was that they guide you, right?
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:I think therapy is amazing, but I needed
somebody that could walk me day by day
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:through what I needed to do to kind
of navigate this newness in my space.
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:And because of that I've realized
that, you know, grief is not
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:a one size fits all, right?
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:There are different methods
for different people.
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:And so, you know, that's
kind of where I came from.
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:And then as time went on, so
many other people that I love
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:were losing their mothers.
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:And I created kind of like
a private thing for us.
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:Like, okay, well, we'll
just support one another.
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:But then it was kind of like, no, you
can't just do it for a private group.
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:We need to do this publicly.
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:there are way more people that need the
support than the people that you know.
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:And so from that day forward when, you
know, God kind of dropped it in my spirit,
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:I, I left it and I was like, all right,
well, this is what we're going to do.
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:And you know, I've been
doing it ever since.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: I, I love
how you took your awareness of your
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:emotional space and shared that with
others, you and, and took action.
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:I think a lot of times we folks may
see commonalities with other people.
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:and it may stay there, but your
calling clearly was to move forward
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:and provide support with a broader
audience, a broader community.
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:And really helping to process
those tough times, and turning your
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:grief into a catalyst for growth.
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:Shameka Williams: Definitely.
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:You can either let it make you bitter
or you can let it make you better.
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:for me for a while it did make me bitter.
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:Right.
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:But I realized that I wasn't hurting
anyone but me and that is absolutely
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:not how my mother raised me or how
she would have wanted me to live.
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:And so I had to stay firm in the fact
that I knew better and I could do better.
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:And kind of just how I move
forward to help myself grow and
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:move through those, you know, art.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Yeah.
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:Well, I love that phrase you
just said about you can be
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:bitter or you can be better.
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:you know, when thinking about grief,
something that I know you and I are
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:kind of curious about and can chat about
today is this idea to have grief, really
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:applying to loss in a number of contexts,
whether it's loss of an identity,
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:loss of your particular dream, etc.
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:Shameka Williams: Mm hmm.
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:Yeah.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: kind of coping
with grief in other contexts as well.
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:Just speaking from personal experience.
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:I know that letting go of
these preconceived notions
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:you might have for your kids.
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:That's something that a number of moms
and I have talked about on occasion,
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:these, these tiny goodbyes as they
grow into their own people, and the
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:complexities that come with that, you
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:know,
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:audioShamekaWilliams11486949567: yeah,
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:Shameka Williams: I think that
you put it so well, right?
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:You said that you don't
expect these things, right?
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:You don't.
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:And sometimes you get disappointed based
off of your own expectations, right?
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:So grief is not exclusive to that.
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:It is just exclusive to those things
that we lose and that can be yourself
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:that can, we lose ourselves when we
became, when we become a mom, right?
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:And.
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:We oftentimes try to get back to that
person when we will never be the person
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:that we were before we had children.
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:And sometimes when we have those
expectations that, hey, I'll
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:go back to be this person when
they're grown up is unrealistic.
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:And then it caused this, this kind
of condemnation on ourselves, like,
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:Oh, well, you know, I did bad.
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:I didn't do this.
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:No, it's not that you just you'd
never be that person again.
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:And I'm big on transition.
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:Right.
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:Grief is about transition.
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:And in order for you to be able
to transition into any space, into
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:any time period in your life, you
have to be able to adapt to change.
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:And one of the things that
human beings in general struggle
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:with is adapting to change.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Mm, mm,
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:Shameka Williams: and so what I've learned
in my space is that my son is 16, right?
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:And soon he'll be out the house.
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:And he, he used to be a mama's boy,
but now I don't even know, you know,
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:I see him when I see him, he lived with
me, but you know, they do their thing.
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:One thing that I, I realize
is that me holding on to him.
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:It's not gonna help him.
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:It's not.
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:It's not gonna help
him be a better person.
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:There are certain, and I had to, like,
really talk to some wise people who
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:said, you being super strict or you
want him in your sight every second
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:of every day, it's not helping him.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: mm,
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:Shameka Williams: Not just
that, it's not helping me.
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:Because oftentimes we leave,
when we become mom, we lose
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:our dreams, our aspirations.
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:When really, in reality, we need to
be able to show our children that you
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:can be a mom and still have a life.
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:You can be a mom and still take care
of yourself because if you're a mom
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:and you're not taking care of yourself,
everything else fall , everything else.
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:And so we have to learn to take
care of ourselves and your identity
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:has to be bigger than your child.
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:And I know for some
people that's like, Oh,
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: mm,
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:Shameka Williams: no, your identity has
to meet when people ask you who you are.
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:It has to be more than
just, well, I'm a mom.
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:Okay.
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:And because what happens is then
when you're not that, that mom.
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:In the forefront, you
don't know who you are.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: right.
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:Shameka Williams: And so it's so
important to hold on to pieces of who
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:we are, what we like, what we don't
like in the midst of being a great mom.
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:we have to stop placing these
expectations on us because unmet
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:expectations equals disappointment.
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:And so we just have to allow
ourselves to be who we need to be.
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:And it's going to take
time to get a balance.
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:But just trying to figure it out is
better than, you know, just sitting in
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:it and just saying, well, this, this is
all I am because not way more than that.
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:Way more.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Yeah.
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:And it's so true how when you become a
mom, especially when they're little, and
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:I think it's, it's sort of endemic to
the, the act of raising an infant and a
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:toddler, like they need you for so much.
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:And if that becomes your sole
identity, it is a bit dangerous.
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:Because once they start becoming
independent, becoming their own
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:people, it, yeah, that, that sense
of who am I, how do I function?
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:I can imagine it manifests
in different ways.
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:Like you might want to control things
more than you should, or you might.
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:Like you were saying, you just sort of
lose the sense of who you are and then, I,
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:I am a huge believer in, you know, what's
good for you as a mother is ultimately
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:what's good for your kids as well.
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:So if that means self care, if that
means pursuing your own dreams, even
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:in baby steps showing up in that way
for yourself will ultimately also
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:help your kids become better people.
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:Shameka Williams: Yeah.
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:And I think it's also especially
because our children watch us.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Yes.
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:Shameka Williams: They
are, they are sponges.
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:I people all the time, if you don't teach
your children, how to deal with trouble,
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:they are going to figure it out on their
own and sometimes not in the best ways,
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: mm, mm hmm,
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:Shameka Williams: so they need to
see you going after your dreams.
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:They need to see you doing self care and
taking time away from them for yourself,
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:because then when they get older, they
realize it's okay for me to prioritize me.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:
hundred percent, yep,
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:Shameka Williams: Right, because
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:audioShamekaWilliams11486949567: I
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: they to see
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:Shameka Williams: I, I've seen so many
kids like, well, I, I'm not gonna cry.
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:I'm not gonna, because I watched
my mother be a superwoman.
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:She never cried.
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:She never did.
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:And we're, in reality,
that's, that's not good.
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:That's not good.
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:So we need to be able to show our
children real emotions and what
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:really is happening, you know?
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:And it's necessary.
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:It's necessary for growth
for them and for you.
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:Yeah,
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: And on
that point about showing emotions,
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:you know, it brings me back to grief.
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:And when we experience grief, whether
it be through loss of an opportunity
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:loss of a friendship, you know, what
would you say are kind of the top
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:things to keep in mind or tips for
navigating those sorrowful moments?
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:How do we move from that
bitter place to a better place?
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:Mm.
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:Mm hmm.
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:Shameka Williams: I think one of
the main things is processing it.
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:And allowing yourself to sit with it.
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:So often we live in a
microwave society now.
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:And so everything is supposed to be fast.
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:Like, I'm gonna heal fast.
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:As long, as long as I just
be like, okay, it happened.
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:No, you're gonna have to process it.
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:You're going to have to feel the feelings.
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:And most of us don't want
to do that because it hurts.
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:Grief will wait for you.
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:Loss will wait for you.
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:So it will be on the sidelines
until you're ready to deal with it.
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:But the longer you take to deal
with the issues, the more it'll
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:have an effect on you as a person.
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:And so if you can sit down and say,
hey, This is what hurt me, but also
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:in every loss, there is a lesson.
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:So a lot of times, one of my main
things I tell people in my grief support
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:group is, Hey, you have to find out
what the lesson is, even in this loss.
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:if you don't, what happens
is you will repeat the same
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:behaviors when you lose again.
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:Loss is inevitable.
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:You know, they taxes and death is the most
sure thing, but loss is a sure thing too.
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:Right.
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:You're going to lose throughout your life.
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:So if you can kind of figure out,
Hey, when I lose, I need to process my
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:feelings, but then also use every tip
-adapting to change, sitting through
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:it, and then allowing ourselves to learn
the lessons that need to be taught.
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:Those things alone can not only help
you in your situation, but it can
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:also help you to teach your children
how to navigate their own trouble.
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:Because a lot of times, you know,
especially in the younger generation
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:now we're using alcohol and drugs and,
know, we're trying to fill spaces.
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:Right.
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:A lot of unhealthy relationships, and
this is something that I experienced.
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:A lot of my unhealthiest relationships
were because I was trying to fill
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:a spot for something that I lost.
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:And because of that, it was destructive.
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:It was toxic.
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:But if had I been able to sit with
what happened and be able to take the
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:lessons from it and grow from it, I
probably would be much better off,
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:and that that's my suggestion.
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:You have to sit with it, even if you have
to say, Hey, I need to take two days.
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:Cry for one day and then figure out,
you know, my feelings the next day.
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:That's fine, too.
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:fine, too.
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:You know, so.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:
In terms of processing, you
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:know, that resonates with me.
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:This idea of you have to figure
out, like, take some time to
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:analyze, feeling the feelings and
addressing what's my takeaway here?
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:Yeah.
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:Cause you know, I I've heard it
said that we gravitate towards what
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:our nervous system thinks is safe.
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:audioShamekaWilliams11486949567: Mm hmm.
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:Mm
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: And
sometimes just because it's what we're
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:familiar with, the familiar feels safe.
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:And if our familiar is negative or toxic
or, you know, not necessarily good for
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:us, that we'll continue those patterns
because they're quote unquote safe.
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:But like you were saying, if we learn
from it, then we can take action
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:to move through the discomfort,
to use that grief to propel you
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:towards something, towards growth.
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:So, you know, you, you sort of set up
this example of feeling the feelings,
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:and sitting with it, and then kind of
moving forward, how does someone know
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:whether they're processing or stewing?
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:That's something that I think people,
myself included, sometimes grapple
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:with, especially when I look at my
kids, I think, you know, are they
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:still processing or are they stewing?
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:Shameka Williams: Yeah, if they, you
know, I think when we're processing,
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:sometimes, you know, we're kind of
in an out of body experience, right?
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:I think sometimes we're really
thinking about the entire
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:situation, the entire circumstance.
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:And we're really trying to process
What happened and why it happened.
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:One of the things that
humans need is a why.
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:I have no idea,
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:When somebody dies, they'd be like,
all right, well, tell me how they died
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:because they want to know why they
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:audioShamekaWilliams11486949567:
died, right?
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:Shameka Williams: Because we want
to find something to identify with
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:and say, oh, okay, well, they died
because they had a heart attack.
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:Well, I didn't have a heart
attack, so I'll be okay.
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:if it's else, then maybe I
should go get my blood work
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:done because they died this way.
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:We, that's, that's how
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:audioCarmelita(Cat)Ti21486949567: It's
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: so true.
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:I think about relationships and breakups.
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:People wanna know, why did you And then
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:audioShamekaWilliams11486949567: Exactly.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: to learn.
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:Yep.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:. Mm-hmm.
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:Shameka Williams: So the thing
about it is if you're processing,
327
:you're thinking about how it's
going to affect your future.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Mm-hmm.
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:Shameka Williams: If stewing, it,
oftentimes it's just like you're
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:sitting there, you're processing
it, but you still are not over the
331
:hump of understanding what happened.
332
:You're still like, yeah, well, maybe in
another world, it could be this way, like,
333
:you're, you're still negotiating with
yourself about what's happening and, and,
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:how things could have been different.
335
:Whereas when you're processing,
you understand that it happened
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Right.
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:Shameka Williams: you know, you're
like, okay, it's, it's done.
338
:It's, it's the end.
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:Right.
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:Whereas stewing sometimes you
go back and forth with yourself.
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:It's this bargaining chip.
342
:Like, well, maybe if I did this
or no, so that's the difference.
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:The difference is you knowing it's an end
and the other is I'm bargaining that it
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:might not be the end or it could be that.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Yeah.
346
:What, what I'm hearing you say
is basically acceptance, right?
347
:Where stewing is this refusal to
accept that this is an end, that this
348
:is something to move forward from.
349
:Whereas processing is sort
of looking at it for what it
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:was and choosing to move on.
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:Hmm.
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:Hmm.
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:Yeah.
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:That makes
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:a
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:Shameka Williams: it's not neither.
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:Neither one is easy.
358
:I'm not, I say it like,
yeah, just process.
359
:No, it's hard.
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:It's hard.
361
:It's very hard, but it's necessary
for you to grow and I am one of
362
:those people that definitely believes
everything happens for a reason.
363
:So there's something that is preparing you
even with this situation as you process
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:to go to the next level in your life,
to go to the next level in your purpose.
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:And so it was a lesson that you
had to learn so that you could be
366
:better prepared for the next lesson.
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:That's why it's so necessary to process.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Yeah.
369
:And ─┅┅ you know, what you were
saying about people being wired
370
:to want a why, you know, wanting
an explanation that makes sense.
371
:We want, we want things to make sense.
372
:So often we don't have that, right?
373
:Like whether it's loss, unexpected loss,
why that person or in a relationship, why,
374
:why did this person make that decision?
375
:Like what?
376
:Yeah.
377
:So understanding that part of that
processing is just accepting and
378
:moving on I can see how that's so
pivotal and important to really
379
:reaching that place of growth.
380
:Yeah.
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:Shameka Williams: Definitely.
382
:It's, it's necessary and it's vital
in order for you to really be able to
383
:say, Okay, I'm moving through this.
384
:And
385
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Hmm.
386
:Shameka Williams: going to
get through this, right.
387
:Because otherwise you'll be stagnant.
388
:And the longer you're stagnant, the
more things pile on top of it, you
389
:know, becomes complicated grief,
390
:And complicated grief means things just
piling on top of it and it gets worse.
391
:when you have complicated grief
is you literally have to unpeel
392
:back back all of those layers.
393
:Before you can really deal with the
root of the problem, whereas if you're
394
:processing when it happens, you're
dealing with the root and you're
395
:going to pull it up from the root.
396
:If you're a gardener, you know, if
you don't pull the weeds up from
397
:the root, just going to, it's just
going to grow right back, but if you
398
:pull it up from the root, it's gone.
399
:And that's, that's kind of how
you have to think about it.
400
:Like, Hey, we got to pull this thing up
from the root so that it doesn't resurface
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: I love that.
402
:I love that mental image.
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:Shameka Williams: yes, what you
don't deal with, it will come back.
404
:Okay.
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:And it comes back sometimes
unconsciously, it'll come back and you'll
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:be like, Oh, I thought I dealt with it.
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:But then you get in another
relationship and now the problems
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:from the other relationship are here
because you never process it properly.
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:So, you know, we have to understand
that it all, it all comes together if
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:we don't process how we've feeling.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Yeah.
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:I feel like we've covered a lot of
ground in a short amount of time.
413
:I'm so grateful for that.
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:is there anything we haven't
covered from the perspective of.
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:Like how you would encourage folks to
think about grief ,processing grief,
416
:and I, I, I wanna make sure there's
nothing you feel is left unsaid.
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:Shameka Williams: Yeah, I think the
only thing that I would say is that.
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:You, you are enough.
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:And oftentimes when we grieve,
whether it's a death or whether
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:it's a loss of a relationship or
friendship or even ourselves, right?
421
:I know a lot of people, my mom,
she passed away from breast cancer
422
:and what I found was when she
was diagnosed, she lost herself.
423
:She lost who she was, you
know, before her diagnosis.
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:And I, I just want people
to know that you are enough.
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:you are strong enough to move
through whatever it is that you lose.
426
:Right?
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:But you have to reveal it.
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:What, what you don't
reveal, it can't be healed.
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:So you have to move through it,
understanding that I have to let this out.
430
:Whether through a therapist,
a coach, a friend.
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:The longer you keep it in, the
more dangerous it becomes to
432
:your spirit and to your mind.
433
:And grief often leads to mental illness.
434
:On my podcast being bipolar, I didn't
find out that I was bipolar until I
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:lost my mom because it ignites something
in your mind and your spirit that you
436
:don't even realize that it's happening.
437
:And so I just encourage people to
understand that they are not alone and it
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:happened to them, but it also happened for
them, And sometimes it's hard to see that.
439
:When you're hurting so bad, right.
440
:But there was a there's a reason
for everything that happens.
441
:And sometimes that's why we have to
go back and look at those lessons
442
:and things that we've been through.
443
:It's unfair.
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:The fact that that my mom is
gone is unfair, but I learned
445
:so many lessons from it.
446
:And now I can actually help somebody else.
447
:You never go through things just for you.
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:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Mm-hmm.
449
:Shameka Williams: You always go through
things to also help other people, and some
450
:of those people are your children, right?
451
:your children need to see you grieve.
452
:They need to see you hurt, because
they need to know that these are real
453
:emotions, and it's okay to feel them.
454
:So much of society has told
them you don't need to cry.
455
:You don't need to feel, just get over it.
456
:I had so many people tell me, it's
just, you'll be fine, just get over it.
457
:You know, and it's just like,
I don't think so, you know.
458
:So take your time.
459
:And, you know, it's sad that we don't
give people more time to for bereavement
460
:like jobs only give three days.
461
:But honestly, you take the time that
you need, and you got to choose you.
462
:You have to choose you.
463
:I actually left a job because
I said, no, I have to choose my
464
:mental capacity because if I'm not
okay, nothing else will be okay.
465
:So always choose you, always choose you.
466
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Hmm.
467
:you, know, I, I typically wrap up
each podcast episode asking the guest
468
:to share a quote or an affirmation.
469
:And I feel like you've just given
me like five wisdom bombs already.
470
:But on that note, is there any quote or
something that you would like to share
471
:above and beyond what you've already done,
472
:Shameka Williams: Yeah, I, I think the
only thing that I would say is that
473
:sometimes we feel like our prayers, our
tears are in vain, but they are not.
474
:So every time you cry.
475
:Whether you believe in God,
the universe, whatever it is.
476
:There is someone or something
there that is going to lift
477
:you because you have suffered.
478
:Suffering is inevitable.
479
:We know that, but there is an
assignment to every tear that you cry
480
:and just don't give up on yourself.
481
:Don't give up and give
yourself so much grace.
482
:We are, especially women,
so hard on ourselves.
483
:hard and please give yourself grace
and allow yourself to feel what you
484
:need to feel to prioritize yourself.
485
:Because that's the only
way you'll make it.
486
:What a powerful conversation.
487
:as humans navigating this journey of life.
488
:We invariably deal with
change, transition and loss.
489
:And we know this intellectually, but in
our fast paced world, whether it's hustle
490
:culture or capitalism or productivity
junkies or whatnot, It sometimes feels
491
:like it's a lot harder to find the
time to process and reflect on these
492
:things and the impact they have on us.
493
:On some level I think I
used to think of grief.
494
:As being reserved for
situations involving death.
495
:It really wasn't until my divorce and the
huge changes that came along with that.
496
:But I had to confront laws and
recognize grief in a very real way.
497
:So.
498
:It just makes me grateful
for my chat with Shameeka.
499
:It was a wonderful reminder that
grief comes in all shapes and sizes.
500
:And we are strong enough to move
through and grow from all of our losses.
501
:Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host:
Here are my key takeaways.
502
:Number one.
503
:You can be bitter or you can be better.
504
:When loss happens to
us and it will happen.
505
:We can choose how to respond to
it and how it will affect us.
506
:Number two.
507
:Recognize that loss and the resulting
grief can show up in a variety of places.
508
:We might mourn a loss of identity,
the life we used to have, loss of our
509
:kids as they become more independent.
510
:And of course our daughters deal
with the loss too, whether it's
511
:losing a game or losing a friend.
512
:Loss and grief are not exclusive to death.
513
:Number three.
514
:Remember that grief is like a weed.
515
:You have to deal with it from the roots.
516
:It will continue to grow and wait for you.
517
:It won't just go away on its own.
518
:Number four processing your grief
means acceptance and learning.
519
:Every loss has a lesson.
520
:And number five, what you
don't reveal you can't heal.
521
:Be courageous and confront your
loss for yourself and your kids.
522
:If we model emotional awareness and
self-compassion in times of grief,
523
:we're planting the seeds for our
kids to process in a healthy way too.
524
:To learn more about Shemeka
and her organization.
525
:Those without mothers.
526
:Visit www those without mothers.org.
527
:She also hosts the being bipolar podcast.
528
:You can find her and the podcast
on Instagram and Facebook.
529
:Look for, @thoseewithoutmothers, at
Shameeka speaks and that's S H a M E K a
530
:speaks also at the being by polar podcast.
531
:Also at the being bipolar podcast and
at coaching from grief without love.
532
:Those links will all be
in the show notes as well.
533
:So feel free to go there,
check that out and find her.
534
:Thank you so much for joining me today.
535
:A big shout out to you for taking
the time to show up for yourself
536
:and your daughter by tuning in.
537
:I know you have a lot vying
for your time and attention.
538
:So I really appreciate you
choosing to spend a portion
539
:of your day listening to me.
540
:If you liked what you heard, please
tell a friend, hit subscribe or follow
541
:in your favorite podcasting platform.
542
:And again, Follow at Novi.
543
:Instagram for quotes from wise
women, reminders, and a heads up
544
:on upcoming podcasts as well as
coaching offerings, et cetera.
545
:Thank you again for listening
and here's to strong women.
546
:May we know them?
547
:May we be them?
548
:And may we raise them?