On the Power of Sisterhood & a Mother's Legacy // with Amy & Nancy Harrington

Carmelita Tiu: 00:00:03

Welcome to know them.

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Be them, raise them a show to

help busy, mindful growth oriented

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moms stay informed and inspired,

especially as they're navigating

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their daughters tween and teen years.

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I'm Carmelita too, an

unapologetic multihyphenate.

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I'm a mom of two girls, a wife, a

certified life coach focusing on

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holistic personal development for

multi-passionate impact driven women.

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Also an attorney for

creatives and a podcast host.

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So my guests today are sisters,

Amy and Nancy Harrington.

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They founded the Passionistas

Project out of a deep desire to

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empower women around the world.

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Both walked away from high profile

jobs in Hollywood to work together.

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Amy was the vice president of post

production and visual effects for

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feature films at Warner Brothers.

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So she worked on movies like

the Harry Potter series, The

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Matrix, and Batman franchises.

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And then Nancy left the ad agency

world where she created Academy

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Award winning campaigns for Miramax.

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Now Amy and Nancy shine a light

on the positive stories of self

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identified women and non binary

people through their media company.

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They have conducted over 1600 interviews,

including red carpet events and more

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than 65 one on one oral histories for

the Television Academy Foundation with

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pop culture icons like Julia Louis

Dreyfus, Rita Moreno, Lily Tomlin, Laverne

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Cox, Carol Burnett, and many others.

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They've also produced interviews

for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,

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including a sit down with Mick Jagger.

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Who I happen to share a birthday

with, not the year, but the day.

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They were also handpicked by OWN

the Oprah Winfrey network to be

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part of the VIP digital press core

covering Oprah's life class during

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Oprah's tour of the U S in Toronto.

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So clearly these women

are media rock stars.

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They decided to found the Passionistas

Project in: 2018

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podcast, Online Sisterhood and

Power of Passionistas Summit.

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They strive to inspire women to

follow their passions and join forces

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in the fight for equality for all.

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All right.

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So that is who my guests today are.

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One of the things that really

struck me about the two of them

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is how well they get along.

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Clearly, they grew up together and

run the Passionistas project together.

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But as you'll hear, they're, they're

really close and you can tell that

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they have such love for each other.

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And not only that, they credit

their mom with being such a source

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of inspiration and love and they

speak about her with such reverence.

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Part of the reason that I enjoyed

our conversation so much is it was a

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good reminder to me of the potential

lasting impacts of how we show up for

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our kids and how that can also impact

how they show up for each other.

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I think I'm guilty sometimes of getting

so caught up in the tasks at hand that I

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don't really stop to think about, well,

in 20, 30, 40 years, what's the vision?

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What's one of these hopes that

I have for the two of them?

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And what are the hopes that I have

for our relationship when I'm in

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my, uh, Eighties, seventies, and

they're, you know, fully grown adults,

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potentially with families of their own.

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Amy and Nancy are a reminder of what's

possible in the best of ways, between

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mothers, daughters, and siblings.

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So without further ado,

here's our conversation.

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amy and Nancy, welcome.

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I'm so thrilled to have you here as

guests on Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them.

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Before I dive any further, I'd love

to turn the, the mic, if you will, over

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to both of you to tell the listeners

a little bit about yourselves, and

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then we'll kind of go from there.

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Nancy Harrington: So, uh,

Amy and I are sisters.

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We finish each other's sentences

and share a brain as we like to say.

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and we have such a strong bond as

sisters that we want to offer that

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connection to the women in our community.

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We've started the Passionistas Project

about, six or seven years ago, and

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we've built an inclusive sisterhood

where women can come together.

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And get support and feel empowered

to transform their lives.

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So we focus on the three pillars

of business development, personal

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growth and social impact.

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And we have classes and resources and

networking opportunities and fun parties.

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And we have a podcast

network and Passionista's TV.

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So we have all sorts of things, but

it's all about sharing our sisterhood

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with everybody because it's such

an unbreakable and beautiful bond.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: So, for a little

backstory, Amy, Nancy, and I are all part

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of a group of women, a mastermind, if you

will, really for honing in on upleveling

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the things that we're passionate about.

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And as soon as I met Amy and Nancy, I

really admired the drive and passion

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and purpose that they had and we got to

talking about what each of us were doing.

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They found out that I had a podcast

aimed at moms of girls and they shared

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in such a beautiful way about their

mother's impact on them and it just

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reminded me of, uh, moms and daughters

and the importance of that relationship.

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And so I thought it made a lot of sense

to bring you both here to take a step back

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and speak with adult women to remind us

of the various ways we may not even know

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that as moms we're impacting our kids.

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So, my next question for you is,

what was your mother's legacy for you?

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Amy Harrington: Well, we had the

best mom in the world, her name was

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Betty, Betty Sacco, she became Betty

Harrington, and had five kids, there

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are five of us all together, we are the

two youngest of five, we have an older

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sister who's a filmmaker named Beth,

our sister Lisa is a crochet artist.

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Our brother is, uh, was a musician and

now is a bankruptcy attorney who has had

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a case in front of the Supreme Court.

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And then Nancy and I are

out there doing our thing.

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So, the most important thing our

mother ever taught us was your

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brother and your sisters are

your best friends in the world.

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And no matter what happens, You have

each other and we've been through a

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lot together and inevitably we're all

there for each other every single time.

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So that is her true legacy.

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And, and besides that, she

was just a very kind person.

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Both our mother and father were, creative.

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They met in art school.

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Our dad had an advertising agency and

our mother studied to be an art teacher.

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So we grew up in a household where.

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We were surrounded by music and

television and movies and art and could

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use our dad's expensive art supplies

to doodle and never were told anything.

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else but follow your passions, you

know, trust in yourself to do the

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creative things you want to do.

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There was never any hesitation like,

Oh, you're Nancy's going to open

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her own graphic design business.

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Oh yeah, of course you

open your own business.

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That's what you do.

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Or I'm going to move to California

from Braintree, Massachusetts, and I'm

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going to get into the film industry.

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And as much as they didn't want

me to go, it was never like,

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you're never going to get a job.

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It was like, okay.

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You know, we'll miss

you but you can do it.

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So we just were really, really lucky that

our passions were supported and encouraged

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from the minute we were born, and we were

born into a group of five best friends who

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have been by our side, our entire lives.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Out of

curiosity, when you mentioned this

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messaging about Being told that you

are your each other's best friend.

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How did that feel in moments

where maybe you were arguing?

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Because I would love to say that to my

daughters, but I could also imagine,

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it not resonating at certain points

when they're arguing or bickering.

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Nancy Harrington: I think what

makes us unusual, even more so is

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that We didn't argue that much.

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You know, I think my brother and I

probably butted heads most because

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we were really close in age, and,

you know, I was his first little

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sister so he could be bratty with me.

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But, Amy and I hardly

ever argue even as adults.

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, the only time we really get into fights

is when we're traveling and we're hangry.

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But, you know, when she said it, it

was usually when, maybe we were, you

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know, You know, cranky and fighting

over crayons or something, but it always

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resonated it whenever our mother spoke

to us, she had this way about her that

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made us stop and think, Oh, she's right.

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Even if we didn't want to hear it.

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We're like,

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You know, she just had that

way about her and we used to

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say she gave us the evil eye.

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Like if we were doing something

she didn't approve of, she didn't

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really have to say anything to us.

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She just gave us a look and we were

like, Oh, okay, mom, I'll stop.

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. Carmelita (Cat) Tiu:

That totally resonates.

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My mom was the same way.

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She had this glance.

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And when we saw the glance, we

knew to stop what we're doing.

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Something was off.

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This does not jive with mom.

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So, I totally get that.

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Amy Harrington: I also think she was

good at helping us find, like if we were

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bickering or if we were Mad at each other

for some stupid reason like she helped

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us find the thing that brought us back

together you know whether that was like

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baking chocolate chip cookies or Watching

a TV show together or going to the mall

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and walking around like she found some

way to shift the energy and Have us

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find a way to have fun together again.

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Nancy Harrington: How did she get

us to do, remember the time we put

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the line of tape down the middle

of the room, Brady Bunch style?

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Although our door was on one side, so we

had to make like a corridor to get to it.

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How did she get us, how did

she get us to get past that?

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Do you remember?

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Amy Harrington: I don't, I, I think

she either just ignored it knowing

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that like, that we'd get over, we

would be fine, or she probably came

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in and was like, take that, just

take that down, what are you doing?

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She kind of indulged our stupid moments

and knew we would figure it out.

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They trusted us a lot to figure it out,

not in a way that was like, I don't care,

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you guys do it, but more just like, they

trusted that we were smart, and that

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they had raised good people, and so they

let us kind of, when we did dumb things,

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I feel like they kind of let us find

our way, cause they knew that we would.

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Nancy Harrington: She

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Amy Harrington: was

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Nancy Harrington: also

extremely even keeled.

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Extremely like, I can probably think

of maybe five times in her life

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where she got rattled more upset.

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She really was just

like, Everything's fine.

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If you broke something, it

wasn't screaming and mad.

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It was like, it's just a thing.

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She'd clean it up, move on, you

know, like she was so keeled.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: I can see how

that would make a huge difference too,

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where if you don't get rattled easily,

then the environment just feels safer.

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You can do things, things

can happen, life happens.

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And as a child, not feeling as if it

has this domino effect on your parents.

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I could see how, you know,

that really went a long way to

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Amy Harrington: I also think

our dad was the exact opposite.

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Our dad was, dad was the, like,

emotional, like, where's my metal ruler?

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Like, it would totally, like,

throw off his whole day.

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And our mother, no matter how,

like, nutty he got, or emotional he

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got, she loved him unconditionally.

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And so, His energy wasn't always the

greatest thing to like, as to live by

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example, but seeing how much she loved

him, even when he was kind of at his

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worst, always made you feel like, well,

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and she would always say to

us, there's nothing you can do.

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her thing was, did you do your best?

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You know, and as long as you did your

best, that was all she cared about.

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So there was just, there was never

a moment in our lives where we

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felt unloved or that we could do

something that would shift that.

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Nancy Harrington: Yeah.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Yeah.

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Okay.

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For the people that can't see the video

or aren't watching, I'm crying now.

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Nancy Harrington: The Harrington wins.

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See?

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We told you before we started recording.

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My favorite story about my

mother was I was in high school.

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I was a really, really, really shy kid.

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And Around the age of like 13, 14, 15.

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I, I made this shift that I was

not going to be shy anymore.

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And I was going to tackle the

world and I found punk rock music.

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This was in the seventies.

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So I found punk rock music and I.

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Decided I was gonna cut my hair

and it was spiky and it was orange.

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I looked like David Bowie on the

cover of Pinups and I was, I wore

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funky clothes and love it little

in this little town in Braintree,

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this little town south of Boston.

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And, and you carried a fab box pocketbook.

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I carried a pocketbook that was

made out the fab box that our

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older sister Beth had gotten us.

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So all the kids.

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In high school called me fab woman,

which now, when I think about it, I'm

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like, I need to revive that nickname.

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It's a great nickname.

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But back then it was

not, it was not an honor.

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It was, they were teasing me.

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And so, I had a hard time in high

school, but one day I was driving

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down the street with my mother as a

beautiful spring day, our windows were

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open in the car and this group of kids

drove by us in the opposite direction.

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And they yelled out the window

punk rock sucks, which was

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like the daily taunt for me.

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And my mother had had enough and

she slammed on the brakes and she

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turned the car around in the middle

of the street and followed them.

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And I, in the meantime, am

like under the dashboard, and

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she followed them home and she followed

them into their driveway and she got

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out of the car and she went over to the

car and she started, I couldn't hear

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everything she was saying, but she was

wagging her finger at them and saying

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things like, You don't know my daughter.

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She's wonderful and she's kind

and she's smart and you don't know

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anything about her and how dare you

say this to her and I, she was my hero.

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In that moment.

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Like, as you talk about

relating to your daughters in

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that moment, I was humiliated.

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I was under the dashboard.

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I was like, mom, how could you

do that to me now at school?

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It's going to get worse.

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You know, I was humiliated,

but God, she was my hero.

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Oh,

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: that is, yeah, that I

can, I can feel that in my core, how great

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that must have felt for, for your mom to

stand up for you and advocate for you.

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And I love how you pointed out that

in the moment it was mortifying.

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Yeah.

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In retrospect, you realized on a

greater scale, what it really means.

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Nancy Harrington: My mom passed

way too young, so it's kind of.

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It's great for us to have these memories

of her and everything we do is in her

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honor, you know, how we live our life.

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Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Going back to the

idea of being best friends, something

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that came up as you were talking about

that was what's great about telling

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your kids, even if they don't really

recognize it or feel it, but telling them

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like, no, these are your best friends.

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Number one, it makes that normal.

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It makes that the standard.

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So that they start to show up that way.

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And, you know, a lot of siblings may

or may not get along, but to be told,

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like, Nope, this is your best friend.

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How would you treat a best friend?

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And encouraging them to be that kind

of person for their sibling, which

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isn't something that I necessarily

intentionally, uh, speak out like, of

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course they're your siblings, they're

your blood, but on a day to day basis,

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how do friends show up for each other and

often siblings and friends are different.

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And the other thing that came up with

that phrase that I just love, is of course

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you're going to fight with your siblings.

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But they're also your friend, so it kind

of makes it okay to fight, and it's okay

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for, for this element of, whether it's

conflict, whether it's disagreement, or

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whether it's loss, that that is also part

of a sibling relationship, but because

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you're friends, you see it through.

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Amy Harrington: yeah.

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And I also think like there are five

of us where we have so much in common,

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but we're very different people.

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And of course there are those that

whenever Nancy and our sister Lisa,

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who lives in California with us and

I are together, if I have to leave

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the table, I'm always like, don't

talk about me because inevitably

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like you're going to be like, Oh

God, she's driving me crazy today.

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It's not like we're, we're the Brady

bunch, you know, but, um, But it

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always comes back to, I, I don't have

more fun with anybody on the planet.

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I don't trust, you know, we have

wonderful, significant others and, and

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this is not a negative comment against

them, but it's just built into our core.

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I don't trust anybody

more than our family.

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It makes you make smarter choices about

your friends and your relationships,

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because you don't need other people, you

choose the people you want to be around.

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So like I personally didn't date a

lot when I was growing up and I didn't

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feel that need to like have a boyfriend

because I had people who love me.

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I was getting love and then when I did get

a boyfriend it was like, oh, you know, I

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pick someone that I really enjoy and that

I, you know, hopefully my family enjoys.

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So it just, it just takes this

pressure off of like, Oh my God,

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: 00:18:16

I feel out there by myself and

I got to connect with people.

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: 00:18:20

It's like, yeah.

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Oh, I connected with that person.

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: 00:18:21

That's nice.

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: 00:18:23

But if I don't, I have

this built in system.

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: 00:18:28

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: I think that's

a great segue into this idea of

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: 00:18:31

sisterhood, which relates to your current

endeavor now and the passionistas.

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: 00:18:36

It's those supports that allow

you to show up more fully in

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: 00:18:41

various aspects of your life.

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: 00:18:43

You know, Amy, you related that

because you felt loved at home,

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it wasn't as if you were filling

a void when looking at potential

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people to date and partners in life.

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And I think that that sense of

community is partly, I imagine

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: 00:18:59

what fueled the Passionistas.

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Nancy Harrington: So, yeah, I

mean, Amy and I both had careers in

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: 00:19:04

Hollywood and we, we left them at

the same time and we started pursuing

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: 00:19:09

something together and we ended up in

the world of celebrity interviewing,

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: 00:19:12

which was fabulous and we loved it.

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: 00:19:14

it was really glamorous, really fun,

especially to do it together, to talk

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: 00:19:17

to Laverne and Shirley at the same

time, sitting in Penny Marshall's

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: 00:19:21

living room after watching them.

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: 00:19:23

We really had some amazing things,

but we just wanted to do something

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: 00:19:26

more impactful and help people.

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: 00:19:28

You know, that's how we were

raised was to help people.

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: 00:19:31

And, so we started the Passionistas

Project just as a podcast.

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: 00:19:34

It was really like a side thing.

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: 00:19:36

Like, let's just do this to lift women up.

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: 00:19:39

And, the podcast is the Passionistas

Project Podcast, and we interview

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: 00:19:43

women who are following their passions,

and we listen to their journey to

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: 00:19:47

inspire other people to take that first

step and, and follow their passions.

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: 00:19:52

And, that escalated and snowballed into

a subscription box of women own products

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: 00:19:57

and our annual women's equality summit

that we bring women from marginalized

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: 00:20:02

communities together to discuss

issues that are relevant to all of us.

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: 00:20:06

And then a year ago, we, somebody

told us, you are driving down

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: 00:20:12

the road, looking at the map.

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: 00:20:16

You don't know where you're going.

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: 00:20:17

And so we pulled over to the

side of the road and decided

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: 00:20:21

to map out our next route.

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: 00:20:23

We spent last year, rebranding and

really figuring out what the women

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: 00:20:27

in our community want and need.

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: 00:20:30

And, that's when we

hit upon the idea that.

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: 00:20:35

What they want is what we have,

you know, everyone says to us, I

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: 00:20:38

wish I could work with my sister.

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: 00:20:40

I could never work with my sister.

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: 00:20:41

We'd kill each other.

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: 00:20:43

You know, they want that

bond, that unwavering loyalty.

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: 00:20:47

Somebody, you know, has your back

somebody who will be honest, but

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: 00:20:51

kind, And so that's when we realized

that this needs to be a sisterhood.

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: 00:20:57

What we need to do is welcome people into

our sisterhood and give them what we have.

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: 00:21:04

It's going really well and

it's just beautiful to see

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: 00:21:06

the women in the community.

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: 00:21:08

Someone posted a week or so ago.

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: 00:21:11

I'm suffocating.

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: 00:21:12

I'm having a hard time doing this.

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: 00:21:14

And she just, you know, spewed it out

and it was so beautiful and vulnerable

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: 00:21:19

and the best part was that people in

the community just started lifting her

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: 00:21:24

up and sharing their stories and saying

they felt the same way and we're here

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: 00:21:30

for you and it was just so powerful

and it was like the moment we realized,

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: 00:21:35

okay, all of this work was amazing.

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: 00:21:38

Was the right thing to do.

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: 00:21:39

We're on the right track.

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: 00:21:41

This is, this is working.

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: 00:21:42

This is helping people.

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: 00:21:43

And, uh, so yeah, that's what we're doing.

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: 00:21:47

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: I love that.

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: 00:21:48

I love it.

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: 00:21:49

And, full disclosure, I myself am a

member and that's how much I believe in

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: 00:21:53

what you're doing is, you know, being a

part of this amazing community of support

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: 00:21:58

and like you said, feeling like there's

people to catch you when you fall or to

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: 00:22:02

give you advice when you aren't quite sure

where you're going, is just priceless,

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: 00:22:07

especially when you have a passion or a

dream that you may not have others and in

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: 00:22:14

your immediate vicinity and your friends

and family or whatnot, that relate.

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: 00:22:19

I only know maybe one

other podcaster in person.

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: 00:22:22

Everyone else is online.

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: 00:22:24

So for you to offer this space where,

hey, whatever you're passionate about,

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: 00:22:28

whatever you need, we've got it is,

uh, is really a wonderful thing.

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: 00:22:34

Amy Harrington: Thank you.

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: 00:22:34

Yeah.

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: 00:22:35

I mean, one of the great things about

the podcast is that we've met so many

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: 00:22:40

amazing women and we always have whoever

we interview nominate somebody else.

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: 00:22:45

So it's been this spider web.

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: 00:22:47

So we know like wheat farmers and,

um, sculptors who melt down nuclear

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: 00:22:55

weapons to make their sculptures.

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: 00:22:57

And like, we've met these women that, you

know, women who own ice cream company.

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: 00:23:01

Um, we've met this like

widest range of people.

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: 00:23:05

So now we're at the point

where someone says like, I

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: 00:23:08

need to find blah, blah, blah.

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: 00:23:10

And we're like, Oh, we know, uh, you

know, Korean grocer who lives in Memphis.

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: 00:23:16

You know, it's like we can find,

we have this weird, like network.

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: 00:23:21

And if we don't, we can pretty much.

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: 00:23:23

Ask people.

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: 00:23:24

So when people come to the sisterhood,

the first thing we do is when someone

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: 00:23:28

introduces themselves or even just signs

up, we DM them and we say, you know

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: 00:23:33

what, you need to meet this person.

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: 00:23:35

And we connect them with somebody

because we, we want everybody to know

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: 00:23:40

each other and support each other.

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: 00:23:42

And ultimately this isn't

about us and our sisterhood.

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: 00:23:47

It's about this Pre, you know, shared

sisterhood and sisters can be chosen.

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: 00:23:52

You don't have to be born to be sisters

and we've witnessed it with our kind

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: 00:23:59

of inner circle of people who have

been there with us for a long time.

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: 00:24:04

You know, they buy from each other.

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: 00:24:08

They cheer each other on.

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: 00:24:10

We have a wall of women's wins where

you can post, you know, anything good

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: 00:24:16

that you feel is worth celebrating

with other people, whether that's,

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: 00:24:20

there's one woman who had a billboard

in Times Square on New Year's Eve, and

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: 00:24:23

there's someone, you know, we celebrated

taking two weeks off at Christmas.

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: 00:24:26

So it doesn't have to be some huge thing.

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: 00:24:30

It could be a huge thing, but we want

it When one of us wins, we all win.

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: 00:24:35

So that's what sisters do too.

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: 00:24:37

You know, we let each other cry,

we hold each other up, but we also

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: 00:24:42

celebrate the wins with each other.

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: 00:24:45

So it's, um, it's really beautiful.

405

: 00:24:47

And it is a network of women that

they aren't just walking the straight

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: 00:24:52

path to, you know, get through life.

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: 00:24:55

They're making choices.

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: 00:24:56

And, and the reason that social

impact is a big component of it is.

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: 00:25:01

One of the things Nancy and I realized

about the women in our community is every

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: 00:25:06

one of them, if you have a conversation

with them at some point in the

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: 00:25:09

conversation, says, what can I do for you?

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: 00:25:11

How can I help you?

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: 00:25:12

And we've been on a lot of networking

calls lately, and that's not true

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: 00:25:17

of every community or every person.

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: 00:25:19

Every woman in our community is like that.

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: 00:25:22

So, um, The love is already there

and people just have to come and the

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: 00:25:28

more they give, the more they'll get.

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: 00:25:30

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: So

how can people find you?

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: 00:25:32

Nancy Harrington: The easiest way

is to go to the passionistasproject.

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: 00:25:36

com backslash sisterhood.

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: 00:25:38

And that'll tell you about the community

and give you links to either sign up

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: 00:25:42

for the free membership, or if you want

to upgrade to the premium membership,

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: 00:25:46

but there's no pressure to do that.

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: 00:25:48

There's tons of content and

interaction in the free level.

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: 00:25:52

And the other thing we want everyone to

know is that we have scholarship program.

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: 00:25:56

So, for anyone who signs up, Cat

has graciously done, is anyone

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: 00:26:01

who signs up for an annual

membership, we gift the scholarship.

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: 00:26:04

A annual membership to somebody who

can't afford to be in the community.

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: 00:26:08

if you really want to sign up for the

community, but you just don't have the

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: 00:26:11

means there's an application on our

website and there's also a way to donate

431

: 00:26:17

or upgrade your membership so that

somebody can be a reciprocal of that.

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: 00:26:20

So we're excited about

that part of it too.

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: 00:26:24

Carmelita (Cat) Tiu: Fantastic.

434

: 00:26:25

So I like to leave the listeners

with a parting quote or affirmation

435

: 00:26:30

if one or both of you has

something you'd like to contribute.

436

: 00:26:35

Feel free to share.

437

: 00:26:37

Nancy Harrington: Um,

438

: 00:26:37

Amy Harrington: I think

439

: 00:26:37

for me it's just,

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: 00:26:38

oh, go ahead.

441

: 00:26:39

Nancy Harrington: No, you go.

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: 00:26:40

Amy Harrington: You go first.

443

: 00:26:42

Younger first.

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: 00:26:43

I think for me, uh, I think for

me it's just you don't have to

445

: 00:26:46

do it alone, whether it's our

sisterhood or another sisterhood.

446

: 00:26:51

There are people out there

that want to support you.

447

: 00:26:55

In a sisterhood like ours, you can

come and you can be yourself and

448

: 00:26:58

you can tell people things aren't

perfect and you can ask for help and

449

: 00:27:04

we'll be there to give it to you.

450

: 00:27:06

So you don't, you don't

have to do it alone.

451

: 00:27:09

Nancy Harrington: And the quote

that's on my mind right now, it's by

452

: 00:27:12

Pam Brown, an Australian poet, and she

says, When sisters stand shoulder to

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: 00:27:17

shoulder, who stands a chance against us?

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: 00:27:27

Carmelita Tiu: I feel like my takeaways

from this conversation cover a broader

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: 00:27:30

range than usual, but here they are.

456

: 00:27:33

Number one.

457

: 00:27:34

Remind your kids that their

siblings are their friends.

458

: 00:27:38

Maybe even best friends.

459

: 00:27:40

And no matter what happens,

you have each other.

460

: 00:27:43

I know, I hadn't consistently messaged

this in such a direct way to my daughters,

461

: 00:27:47

but I started to say this more after

my conversation with Amy and Nancy.

462

: 00:27:51

I think it's good and healthy.

463

: 00:27:54

To remind your kids to see their

siblings as gifts and as positives as

464

: 00:27:59

permanent presences in their lives.

465

: 00:28:01

And it's up to them to grow and

an invest in that relationship.

466

: 00:28:06

Number two.

467

: 00:28:07

If your kids are arguing.

468

: 00:28:09

Help them find the things that they

have in common or engage them in

469

: 00:28:13

activities that will bring them together.

470

: 00:28:15

It might be getting them to do the same

activity, like baking cookies or reminding

471

: 00:28:19

them in the middle of an argument that

they both had long days and are tired.

472

: 00:28:23

And so they need to cut

each other, some slack.

473

: 00:28:26

Find a way to shift the energy.

474

: 00:28:29

Number three.

475

: 00:28:30

Model, unconditional love.

476

: 00:28:32

Loving your partner.

477

: 00:28:34

Loving your kids.

478

: 00:28:35

Loving yourself, even

at the worst moments.

479

: 00:28:38

Telling your kids that you love them,

even when they're not at their best.

480

: 00:28:42

All of this conveys to your kids, that

you will always be there for them.

481

: 00:28:46

Focus on the efforts and

intent not the outcomes.

482

: 00:28:50

Did you do your best?

483

: 00:28:52

That's what's important.

484

: 00:28:54

Number four.

485

: 00:28:55

Be a champion of your kid's

authentic choices, support their

486

: 00:28:59

individuality and stand up for them.

487

: 00:29:01

When Amy related the story of

when her mom came to her defense.

488

: 00:29:05

Following the kids and giving

them a piece of her mind.

489

: 00:29:08

It reminded me of the importance, not

just of acceptance, but also advocacy and

490

: 00:29:14

sometimes coming to your kid's defense.

491

: 00:29:17

How you show up for them now

has lasting impact on who they

492

: 00:29:21

will become in the future.

493

: 00:29:24

And number five.

494

: 00:29:25

Wherever you're at whatever your struggle.

495

: 00:29:27

Remember that you don't

have to do it alone.

496

: 00:29:30

Seek out groups like The

Passionistas to support you.

497

: 00:29:34

However you need it.

498

: 00:29:38

To find out more about the passionistas.

499

: 00:29:40

You can visit the passionistasproject.

500

: 00:29:42

com or they are on Instagram

at the passionistasproject.

501

: 00:29:47

You can also type in the passionistas

on LinkedIn, Facebook YouTube or Google

502

: 00:29:53

and it will pull up Amy and Nancy and

all the good things that they're doing.

503

: 00:29:58

Carmelita Tiu: I appreciate your time.

504

: 00:29:59

I know that you have choices and

how to spend it and what you're

505

: 00:30:02

listening to when you're doing

laundry or commuting and whatnot.

506

: 00:30:05

If you like the podcast, share with

a friend, hit, follow or subscribe.

507

: 00:30:10

If you're on Instagram, follow

@knowberaisethem and check out my website,

508

: 00:30:15

carmelitatiu.com or knowberaisethem.com

if you're interested in more about

509

: 00:30:21

the podcast or learning about how

we might be able to work together.

510

: 00:30:25

I hope you have an amazing

day, week, month even.

511

: 00:30:29

And here's to strong women.

512

: 00:30:31

May we know them, may we be

them, and may we raise them.